Once Upon a Fairytale Cruise Masterpost

Once Upon a Fairytale Cruise Masterpost

Thanks to @drunken_pilot for this art work!

Once upon a time, a sponsored scarecrow, a Cristal-drinking housebreaker, a pair of magic-wielding exes, a raging queen, and portable hole enthusiast went on a singles cruise. It only got weirder from there.

Character Classes

  • Scarecrow: Scarecrow L4 Way of the Open Straw Monk
  • Peter Pan: Half-Elf L4 Bard
  • Wendy Darling: Human L4 Druid
  • Goldilocks: Human L4 Eldritch Knight Fighter
  • Queen of Hearts: Human L4 Path of the Berserker Barbarian
  • Hatter: Halfling L4 Wizard
  • Bonus: Sam revealed on Twitter that Jon Heder's character would have been the Tin Man!
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Media References of Trinket's Honey Heist

Media References of Trinket's Honey Heist

Thanks to @kkamabr for this art piece!

Bonnie and Cow got nothing on the Jersey Bears. There were more media references than puns this week, but just bearly. 

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Puns of Trinket's Honey Heist

Puns of Trinket's Honey Heist

Thanks to @Wien_Rose for this art piece!

There were so many puns, we were barely able to stand it. We found it rather polarizing, and more than a little grizzly. Something something honey. More of this below.

  • (0:21:55) Brian: Started out as a bottom man, now I’m a top man. Taliesin: Worked his way in the middle, mostly.  Brian: Middle man!  Taliesin: Top of his field as middle man.  Brian: Top of the middle!  Taliesin: Worked his way from the bottom.  Brian: Started from the bottom, now we’re at the middle man!  Taliesin: Top of it.
  • (0:23:39) Sam: Peddy Bear.
  • (0:26:50) Cookie: Because this f***ing guy is going to hack the system. Waffle: I can hack anything. Anything you need. I can hack doors, I can hack people, I can hack cities. Hack right through them.
  • (0:27:50) Brian: I have super high criminalisma.
  • (0:32:15) Waffle: You want me to hack the decorations?
  • (0:33:03) Waffle: I’m going to hack a couple banners down.
  • (0:34:34) Taliesin: I’m going to hack the banners.
  • (0:41:03) Brian: Sam looks like Beary Busey!
  • (0:41:37) Liam: My brother hacked the system.
  • (0:57:38) Cookie: Little guy?  Vegas: Yeah?  Cookie: Take point.  Vegas: How many?
  • (1:03:55) Liam: I give that joke five bearclaws out of five!
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Monster Analysis: Grog's Menagerie of Creatures

Monster Analysis: Grog's Menagerie of Creatures

Thanks to @WTH153 for this art piece!

Grog got toys. (We think it's safe to say that Grog/Travis flipped through the Monster Manuel for what looked cool and what to throw at his friends.)

In the name of completion, we’re going through every single creature that popped up. To answer Sam’s question on last night’s Talks Machina (#45), 6 of the 11 creatures were in the first half of the Monster Manual (i.e., before page 176 of 352). With the exception of the unicorn, the rest were in the first two thirds of the manual.

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Puns of Grog's Bunions and Flagons

Puns and innuendo. Mostly innuendo. (Fun fact: this puns list is of equal length to the Media References list.)

  • (0:11:51) Grog: I was in this tavern the other day and heard about this game. I think it’s called Bunions and Flagons, right.
  • (0:15:35) All: To Keyleth. Laura: The best of us. Liam: The Last of Us.
  • (0:21:39) Vex: Do you even know what genealogy is? Grog: Yeah, it’s like blue denim.
  • (0:27:06) Percy: Does it require batteries? Vex: What are batteries? Scanlan: Those are things that you slam into walls. Percy: Thank you! See, Scanlan knows.
  • (0:38:57) Scanlan: We tell our Bunion Master that we’re going out there to sneak around...
  • (0:41:40) Grog: They’re not points, they’re XP.  Scanlan: What does that stand for, Grog? Grog: Xylophone Players.
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Media References of Grog's Bunions and Flagons

Vax sure knows a lot of other TTRPGs for not knowing how to play Bunions and Flagons...


  • (0:51:58) Travis: Tonight’s episode is brought by our wonderful sponsor, Marvel Puzzle Quest!
  • (0:04:05) Travis: Some of you will be attending PAX Unplugged in Philadelphia.
  • (0:04:40) Travis: We will be in Australia, we will be at SupaNova.
  • (0:05:04) Liam: Next week, Marisha will be in your chair, running a game of Honey Heist.
  • (0:06:25) Taliesin: The Critical Role podcast got updated today. It now goes to 70.
  • (0:06:39) Taliesin: Some of us are going to be at BlizzCon tomorrow.
  • (0:07:00) Taliesin: Phil LaMarr’s coming on next week to talk Thor.
  • (0:07:29) Laura: It was just announced that I joined the cast of The Last of Us II!

The Game

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Survey Quick Answers

We’ve had our survey out for two weeks now, and we’ve already received over 2700 responses! We want to thank all the critters who have offered suggestions, feedback, or just love. We’re planning on keeping the survey open until tomorrow night (midnight PT after Talks Machina), so if you haven’t had a chance to respond, the window is still open for a little while longer.

We are still combing through the responses we’ve received already, as well as considering what we can do to change or improve. While many are being taken under consideration to implement down the road, there are a few frequent responses that we’re able to address now.

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Thursday by Night, Part 2 Masterpost

Before we re-enter Exandria tonight for what Grog has in store, we need one last pass at Part 2 into Taliesin's World of Darkness.

Stanima: 12 times, 6 by Taliesin

Combined with the previous episode, that's a total of 2814 by Taliesin.

  • (0:51:52) Taliesin: Hashtag Stanima.
  • Travis: Stanima!
  • Laura: Stanima!
  • Taliesin: They made us character sheets with Stanima on them.
  • (2:24:30) Taliesin: Let’s do a… You just want me to say stanima, and I’m going to do it for you. Stanima.
  • Taliesin: I know this is going to sound weird, but I’m going to add survival to this. Stanima and survival.
  • Sam: Stanima and survival.
  • Travis: Stanima and survival.
  • Liam: Stanima.
  • Laura: Stanima.
  • Taliesin: Stanima. I’m saying it.
  • Liam: STAMINA.


Based on the intel we've gathered, here are the clans as we know them.


  • (0:58:31) Taliesin: It says “The House of Trouble.”  Sam: The House of Treble? There’s music in there.
  • (1:00:18) Travis: In fact, stay behind Sam.  Liam: My normal place.
  • (1:46:51) Liam: I just did a bump of Friedle. I mean, I just bumped into Friedle.
  • (2:26:46) Liam: Humanity’s in the porta-potty with Will Friedle. Taliesin: We’ve dropped humanity.
  • (2:43:11) Travis: You are sleeping in your own coffin tonight. Sam: You don’t have a double wide? Travis: No. The Cal King?
  • (2:51:28) Taliesin: So, normally there’s a process for this, and this is a problem. You’re suppose to have a sponsor. Sam: Like Tor Books? Taliesin: Like Tor Books. Tor Books.
  • (3:07:20) Liam: Ten thousand years of Day. And not the bad kind.
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Quick Answers 58

Is there a schedule for Quick Answers?

At this time, no. With the conclusion of the VM campaign, we’ve been pretty occupied wrapping up stats, preparing some new stuff, and making way for the new party. We do have quite a backlog of questions, and we plan on getting to as many as we can when we’re able!

Is there a list anywhere of every form Keyleth has taken?

We keep all of Vox Machina’s transformations, including Beast Shapes, here!

Will Talks Machina change the name with the new campaign?

Nope. We have it on good authority the host is staying, too.

Is it possible to keep track of who takes over Brian's job each week in the Alpha 'After Dark' segment? Just so we can see who hasn't had the, uh, special honour yet.

It is, and we’re doing it! Check out the gray boxes on the Talks Machina Attendance Sheet to see who has had the “special honor.”

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Thursday By Night, Part 1 Masterpost

Thursday By Night, Part 1 Masterpost

Thanks to @sketchingsprw for this art piece!

Last Thursday, Taliesin took us on another wonderfully-weird meta adventure, this time through the dark and twisted world of Vampire the Masquerade. Here’s a few interesting things we’ve collected for this first part.

Number of Times “Stanima” Was Said: 16, 8 times by Taliesin (We’re sorry, Taliesin.)

  • (0:58:38) Taliesin: Roll Stanima.
    Marisha: Stanima?
    Laura: Stanima?
    Taliesin: Roll stanima. Actually, just roll stanima.
    Sam: I think he thinks it’s stanima.
  • (1:02:20) Taliesin: Roll stanima.
    Marisha: Stanima.
    Laura: Like stanima!
    Marisha and Taliesin: Stanima, yeah.
    Liam: Stanima.
    Marisha: Just straight stanima.  Taliesin: Yeah. F*** off.
  • (1:11:15) Taliesin: Make a stanima, stanima, stanima roll.
  • (1:57:10) Sam: Straight stanima. Taliesin: Straight intelligence test, you f***er.

LDN and G&S Staff (and Friends!) Violently but Consensually Murdered for Entertainment: 23

(timestamps mark first appearance)

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