Epic Level Battle Royale Masterpost

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Thanks to @nephelolivia for this art piece!

One night only: five of Exandria's saviors from the scourge of The Whispered One battle it out for our (and Colville's) entertainment! Five will enter: one will leave.

And while Vax, Keyleth, Grog, Percy, and Scanlan battled it out, we tracked stats! Hey, some of us are amazing at hiding, others at turning into elementals, and some of us are good at counting how many times someone called 'first blood.' Play to your strengths.

Damage Spread

There was a total of 1446 damage dealt to Vox Machina and the map during this battle. We've summarized the damage spread in the handy table below. Percy dealt the most damage across all targets at 447, and he also holds the title of the most damage any one player dealt to a single target with his 209 damage to Scanlan. The map alone dealt 169 damage between unforced contact with the wall, trapped chests, and exploding braziers. Keyleth's Wild Shapes allowed her to take the most damage of any single player at 441.

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Keyleth Wild Shapes

Keyleth got to showcase the primary ability of level 20 druids: Unlimited Wild Shape. She shifted a total of 14 times, negating a whopping 385 damage. She wisely limited her forms to the high-HP, non-magical damage-resistant elementals:

  • Earth Elemental (7 times)

  • Fire Elemental (3 times)

  • Water Elemental (3 times)

  • Air Elemental (1 time)

First Blood

Yes, we tracked it. The phrase "First Blood" was uttered a total of 23 times over the course of the fight, with Sam as the primary perpetrator:

  1. Sam (14 times)

  2. Liam (4 times)

  3. Marisha (3 times)

  4. Matt (2 times)

  5. Taliesin (0 times)

Media References:

  • (0:01:23) Sam: Our sponsor tonight is Marvel Puzzle Quest. Recruit all your favorite Avengers from Black Panther, Captain America, Iron Man, The Hulk, Black Widow, and more! Create a supervillain dream team and recruit Infinity Gauntlet-wielding Thanos to wage your own war

  • (0:04:24) Travis: Laura and I will be at SacAnime.

  • (0:04:34) Matt: Me and Marisha are happy to be hosting with the folks who make Gwent from The Witcher.

  • (0:06:13) Marisha: We found a bunch of David Mack posters!

  • (0:09:27) Taliesin: It’s just Sams all the way down. (Turtles all the way down)

  • (0:09:37) Matt: Seventh Sam-urai.

  • (0:12:01) Matt: Show me what you’ve got! (Rick and Morty)

  • (0:12:34) Matt: ...from the great Colville.

  • (0:17:25) Marisha: *singing* One last time… (“One Last Time” from Hamilton)

  • (0:17:47) Liam: Castlevania teleporter!

  • (0:18:27) Sam: It’s Pac Man!

  • (0:22:44) Sam: Are we playing Battleship now?

  • (0:38:13) Matt: Now you’re beating the ultimate villain-yourself! (Scott Pilgrim vs. the World)

  • (0:45:18) Sam: If you want my body, and you think I’m sexy, baby then start to dance! (“Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?” by Rod Stewart)

  • (0:45:52) Matt: You start turning into your own version of Stomp.

  • (0:46:53) Marisha: Can I do the Locomotion and do a traveling dance? (“C’mon ‘N” Ride It (The Train)” by Quad City Dj’s)

  • (0:49:38) Marisha and Liam: Tro lo lo lo! (“Trololo Song” by Eduard Khil)

  • (0:50:05) Taliesin: *singing* You can tell by the way I move my… (“Staying Alive” by the BeeGees)

  • (0:51:19) Liam: You did this at Burning Man!

  • (0:53:46) Matt: You’re Flashdancing!

  • (0:53:49) Liam: Best fiery running man ever!

  • (0:57:02) Travis: Dancing! Dancing! (“Dancin’ Dancin’” by the Blackbyrds)

  • (1:00:47) Liam: *singing* All night long! (“All Night Long” by Lionel Richie)

  • (1:09:42) Travis: Purple haze? (Jimi Hendrix)

  • (1:10:35) Travis: To be clear, I see you, and then I turn my back on you. Sam: Like a matador?

  • (1:11:08) Sam: Pawn to rook 4. Taliesin: What? Yahtzee?

  • (1:11:13) Sam: Woodchuck to grey squirrel, woodchuck to grey squirrel. (In Living Color)

  • (1:18:26) Taliesin: Use the cake. Marisha: The cake is a lie.

  • (1:23:59) Liam: I stealthed myself out of the narrative… (“Burn” from Hamilton)

  • (1:33:19) Sam: It’s just S. Pelligrino. Taliesin: A wonderful bottle for the table. Sam: Naturally sparkling.

  • (1:37:01) Marisha: Hadoken!

  • (1:38:59) Travis: You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and then you have the Percy’s Silence! (“The Facts of Life” by Gloria Loring)

  • (1:41:00) Sam: Hi, guys. Scanlan Shorthalt here. Taliesin: With a very important message about Marvel Puzzle Quest?

  • (1:44:30) Marisha: It’s like some Freddie Krueger s***!

  • (1:46:16) Taliesin: Purple horseshoes. Liam: TGIF Flair.

  • (1:47:27) Liam: Sent you a monologue. Taliesin: Oh, for a muse of fire. Liam: To be! Or not to be! (Hamlet)

  • (1:48:58) Liam: Satellite in Akira!

  • (1:50:50) Marisha: [helicopter noises] LAPD!

  • (2:18:16) Liam: This is that kid in the go-kart chair that spins and spins and spins. Sam: Going to do a Mr. Bean, followed by-- Marisha: Followed by a Homer Simpson disappearing into the bushes. Taliesin: Finish with a ‘Damn Girl.’ Sam: Sad Keanu. Marisha: That kid who goes, “Aw, S***!” as he runs by.

  • (2:21:02) Liam: Somewhere out there, I’ll f***ing shank your ass! (“Somewhere Out There” by James Ingram)

  • (2:23:53) Taliesin: New earring, who dis?

  • (2:33:17) Travis: You look like Kong.

  • (2:34:52) Remember when there were waterbeds?

  • (2:37:14) Travis: Making that HALO dive!

  • (2:39:48) Taliesin: You are awful. Marisha: You are the literal worst. Liam: I know. Taliesin: The AT&T of people. (...) It’s Community. It’s Dan Harmon.

  • (2:40:14) Taliesin: ...Road Runner. (Spectrum Internet)

  • (2:40:18) Sam: He’s sending a gif right now of dramatic chipmunk.

  • (2:44:34) Matt: As it burns the exterior of the chest, you manage to avoid all damage from the spell. Sam: Is it a refrigerator? (Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull)

  • (3:02:56) Liam: Take me out to the ball game. Marisha: Take me out to the crowd. (Take Me Out to the Ball Game)

  • (3:12:02) Liam: Send a message to Mike Mearls about the 5th Edition Handbook. Thanks, Mike Mearls, I love the Handbook.

  • (3:16:11) Sam, Liam, Taliesin: What’s the Blue Thing doing there? (“Fingertips” by They Might Be Giants)

  • (3:24:53) Taliesin: Let’s twist again like we did last summer. (“The Twist” by Chubby Checker)

  • (3:31:16) Marisha: ...with Scanlan stuck inside my belly! (Austin Powers)

  • (3:33:42) Liam: This is the end. Taliesin/Liam singing: My only friend. Marisha, singing: The end. You’ve been listening to my Madness playlist. Liam: Maybe. (“The End” by The Doors)

  • (3:40:45) Liam: Zed is dead baby. Liam, Marisha, and Travis: Zed’s dead. (Pulp Fiction)

  • (3:58:29) Sam: Who will tell my story? (“Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story” from Hamilton)

  • (4:15:10) Liam: Gotta catch ‘em all! Sam: Pokemon! (...) Oh, you’re my best friend!

  • (4:18:55) Sam: Jammin! I’m jammin! Travis: I’m jammin with you! Sam: Jammin! (“Jamming” by Bob Marley)

  • (4:21:39) Marisha: Oh yeah! I’m gonna jump over Kool-aid Man style.

  • (4:22:46) Liam: No, Mr. de Rolo, I expect you to die. (Goldfinger)

  • (4:23:25) Sam: It’s crammin’! (“Jamming” by Bob Marley)

  • (4:23:40) Liam, singing: This is the moment… (“This is the Moment” from Jekyll & Hyde)

  • (4:24:12) Liam: Put him in a body bag! (Karate Kid)

  • (4:27:59) Matt: We’re talking like, Tetsuo-crushed.

  • (4:33:48) Sam: We float down here. Marisha: We all float down here. (IT by Stephen King)

  • (4:36:08) Marisha: I dreamed I killed you, and you, and you. (Wizard of Oz)

  • (4:37:36) Marisha: I am the queen! Travis: Kentucky fried.

Puns

  • (0:09:37) Matt: Seventh Sam-urai.

  • (0:46:37) Matt: You can’t move. Sam: She can only move! *dances*

  • (0:56:20) Matt: Mi’lightning bolt!

  • (1:10:38) Sam: Like a matador? Taliesin: He’s not mad at a door.

  • (3:05:54) Sam: Wisdom? She’s so wise! Taliesin: Oh, a wise guy.

  • (4:20:45) Sam: Would you say she’s… jamming into the wall? Matt: She’s jamming pretty hard into that wall.

Gil Mentions

  • (0:50:10) Marisha: Don’t f*** me, Gil! You totally f***ed me! No wait. You kind of f***ed me.

  • (4:03:49) Taliesin: Come on, Gil.

  • (4:20:16) Marisha: Don’t f*** me Gil! That’s good!

  • (4:24:28) Marisha: Don’t f*** me Gil! That’s not bad!

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