Hearthstone One-Shot Masterpost

One post to cover the characters, World of Warcraft references, candle mentions, and Leeroy Jenkins (among other things). You know, the whole ball of wax.

Mentions of the word 'candle': 63

Thanks to @TriaElf9 for this art piece!

Character Descriptions

To help out all you Critter artists, we took note of times that the characters' features were described.

Lohkor:

  • Travis: Yes! I am Lohkor Windfallow, paladin, keeper of virtues and righteousness. I am devilishly handsome and I don’t play well with others because of that devilish handsomeness. But my skills are always for sale and my fellows seem to appreciate my roguish good looks.
  • Matt: His armored self, being top-heavy…
  • Wields warhammer

Greldamine:

  • Laura: Oh, hi. My name is Greldamine Clypso! I’m a gnome mage. I am short, even for a gnome, I know, that’s fine. I wear hair in a high bun. It’s brown.
  • Greldamine: Do you have robes? [...] I’m partial to purple.
  • Matt: Not touching the fungus with either side of your armored shoulder pauldrons. Your mantle, I guess it would be.
  • Greldamine wields Aluneth: Metal staff with purple and gold inlay, top has three pointed purple stones in a triangular pattern that float.
  • Greldamine: Oh, it cracks my glasses!

Bundle:

  • Taliesin: My name is Bundle. I’m a dwarf. I’ve got a very nice lime green robe. I’m a priest and I’ve been studying for quite some time. [...] Going a bit bald and I’m trying to do my best to bring it over and it’s going into not a great beard, but I use the ham hocks to liven it up a bit.

Aerwin:

  • Jennifer: I’m Aerwin Whiteclaw. It’s been quite a long time since I’ve been in this much company, it’s rather overwhelming. I am a night elf of the rogue persuasion.[...] I dress in black. I prefer it that way.
  • Matt: There is a beautiful, jagged dagger with a series of red gems across the blade, a chain affixed to its pommel...

Quazirat:

  • Liam: Yes, my name is Quazirat Toes. I am Draenei. I wear all white at all times top and bottom, underneath and front. Whole nine yards. I am simple man, I like to test myself in battle for the glory of Argus.
  • Liam: Do I see with my Draenei eyes as I stroke my chin tentacles…
  • Matt: In one of the sheaths is a blade. As you pull it out, it has a wicked metal, curved point at the end, like a forked point. It has an energy pulse gem in the center of where the hilt is.
  • Liam: This is called Adventure Fury: Blessed Blade of the Thrill Seeker. This weirdly pristine longsword is encased in meticulous, almost gaudy gold scrolling and rune-like carving that spell out phrases like ‘Carpe Diem’-- like your shirt of the doughnut-- and ‘You Only Live Once.’ You gain +2 to all attacks and damage rolls made with this weapon. You are immune to fear. If you ever attempt to flee from danger, you must me a wisdom saving throw (DC 12). On a failure, you instead rush towards the challenge in hopes of glory. YOLO!

Nicknames/Incorrect Names:

We're including the first time the nickname or mispronunciation was used.

  • (0:32:06) Aerwin: Grem? Grel, Greld-- Greldamin? Greldamine: Greldamine. It’s okay. It’s a hard name, especially for elves.
  • (0:34:28) Greldamine: It was a good idea, Whatever Your Toes!
  • (0:35:01) Quazirat: Either the small magic one or the sneaky one should go in first, I think, yes?
  • (0:35:11) Quazirat: All right, little stinker, let’s see what you can do.
  • (0:36:04) Quazirat: Dramamine, lead the way.
  • (0:49:48) Travis: Quasimodo.
  • (0:49:54) Laura: I’m naming you Toes.
  • (0:56:31) Matt: That will bring us to Grendelmine. Laura: It’s Greldamine.
  • (1:13:43) Quazirat: You want to kick ass, I can tell, Little One, let’s go.
  • (1:13:49) Jennifer: I will now call her Small and Brave. S.B. for short.
  • (1:18:36) Kohkor: Quazi, do you think…
  • (1:19:22) Quazirat: I can play this game all night long, little man.
  • (1:31:33) Liam: I grab rope that has Reekcheeks and bring him over.
  • (1:57:18) Greldamine: Hey, Reeks!
  • (1:57:56) Lohkor: Now, you know King Tagwaggle...
  • (2:14:11) Travis: Cheeker.
  • (2:15:02) Quazirat: Hey, Shakira, do you fear me?
  • (2:21:30) Quazirat: Not the Toddlewoddle?
  • (3:02:45) Liam: Let’s go, wee one!
  • (3:52:18) Matt: Greldemire, you’re up.
  • (3:52:23) Taliesin: Grilled Cheese.
  • (3:52:24) Travis: Grundlemire.
  • (3:52:25) Matt: Grundlemere.
  • (3:52:27) Jennifer: General Smarts.
  • (3:52:31) Laura: Grendlefarts!

Thanks to @vladadraws for this art piece!

Leeroy Jenkins References

And Quaz didn't even have chicken.

  • (0:16:55) Laura: What’s your handle?  Liam: It is LRJenkins1234.
  • (1:05:06) Liam: Kiss my sword. The hilt says Leeron Jenkins! Let’s get this s*** started!
  • (2:13:27) Quazirat: For Argus and for LRJenkins1234.
  • (2:35:22) Matt: What are you doing Liam; (pulls sword) LR Jenkins!
  • (3:44:52) Liam: I think of my father, Leeron Jenkins.
  • (3:44:57) Matt: Leeron Jenkins, it’s offshoot of the bloodline.
  • (3:56:02) Liam: Aaaaaugh LRJenkins1234!

Kills:

  • Greldamine 12
  • Quazirat 3
  • Lohkor 3
  • Aerwin 1

Times KOed:

  • Greldamine 2
  • Quazirat 1
  • Aerwin 1
  • Lohkor 1
  • Bundle 1

Thanks to suvi-hearthcrow for this art piece!

World of Warcraft References

We also want to give a shout out to ArkhamArchitecture, who provided a fantastic primer into the World of Warcraft, as well as some of the lore and in-jokes those of us less-versed in it!

  • Liam's shirt has Illidan Stormrage on it, one of the characters he voices in WoW
  • (0:10:20) Matt: The Burning Legion has returned. The world conquering armies of the corrupt Titan Sargeras have assaulted Azeroth, and the greatest heroes of both the Alliance and the Horde have gathered their resources to combat this apocalyptic scourge. Traveling off to the Broken Isles and to Argus beyond to fight for the salvation of Azeroth, these heroes will be the stuff of legend. And while they’re away, things are a little slow down here in the Eastern Kingdoms for you guys. As a band of friends seeking to make a name for yourselves. The streets of Ironforge grow dull with fetch quests and baking runs. Gilneas’ biggest torment has a terrible flea infestation. After Stormwind holds a pet racing contest, which you each individually lose, you gather your frustration and head east and search for real adventure. Trudging through a mire of uninteresting quests and aid to local farmhands and wandering merchants, you’ve all amassed some equipment to aid you for the new challenges ahead. Although the patchwork sources leave your gear somewhat mismatched in color and make. Bundle, you in particular seem to take pride in your lime green robes that you were assured carried a powerful enchantment.  Laura: It’s beautiful.  Taliesin: It’s from a boutique.  Matt: Your troupe has now found your way to the Valley of the Red Ridge Mountains seeking solid work, only to find the work boards empty and the wild beasts that roam the surrounding landscape well in the hands of the local guard. You all sit within the Lakeshire Inn within the village of Lakeshire, two cups into your woes as you lament your life choices and clashing attire. The warm interior is rather vacant outside of your band. The hearth empty but naught but a smoldering log to combat the chilled morning air. That’s right, you’re two cups in for breakfast. The innkeeper, Brianna, yawns and leaves as the bartender, a fiery orange shoulder-length hair and mustache walks over to deliver your next round of breakfast drinks.
  • (0:13:27) Travis: Yes! I am Lohkor Windfallow, paladin, keeper of virtues and righteousness.
  • (0:13:55) Laura: Oh, hi. My name is Greldamine Clypso! I’m a gnome mage. I am short, even for a gnome, I know, that’s fine. I wear hair in a high bun. It’s brown. I’m just the biggest fan of Jaina Proudmore, I think she’s the most amazing mage I’ve ever seen.
  • (0:14:35) Taliesin: My name is Bundle. I’m a dwarf. I’ve got a very nice lime green robe. I’m a priest and I’ve been studying for quite some time.
  • (0:15:29) Jennifer: I’m Aerwin Whiteclaw. It’s been quite a long time since I’ve been in this much company, it’s rather overwhelming. I am a night elf of the rogue persuasion.
  • (0:16:05) Liam: Yes, my name is Quazirat Toes. I am Draenei. I wear all white at all times top and bottom, underneath and front. Whole nine yards. I am simple man, I like to test myself in battle for the glory of Argus. Every day of my life for the glory of Argus. I also like to sample the fine spirits of the realm and I am a big player of MMORPGs. I like to unwind at night when I am done killing the Burning Legion--
  • (0:17:51) Matt: I’m the bartender here. My name is Wental.
  • (0:19:20) Wental: After buying a small homestead in Goldshire
  • (0:20:48) Wental: I’ll have to send away, possibly to Westfall, they have some good dyers there.
  • (0:24:54) Liam: Do I see with my Draenei eyes as I stroke my chin tentacles… (Lord of the Rings)
  • (0:34:33) Liam: Is there room for our World of Warcraft pauldrons to go into this space?  Matt: Four foot wide? At your size, barely.
  • (1:03:13) Matt: You were prepared.
  • (1:28:01) Matt: They’re real tough on that in Dalaran.
  • (1:28:08) Matt: ...Medihv had a potty mouth.
  • (1:34:42) Matt: you see the shape of a large, hunched, beastial dwarf-ape like creature standing about 6 ½ feet tall, its long arms drag on the ground. It’s drooling down its own chest. You’ve experienced this, this is a trogg. A large subterranean creature.
  • (1:52:22) Matt: I was notified that the chat had discovered: So, back when vanilla launch happened, I was one of the people waiting at the midnight launch of World of Warcraft outside of a cold Best Buy in Irvine many, many years ago. And started my long trek on the RP server Silver Hand at launch. Discovered today via FatalKate23 in the chat that there is both a Vox Machina and a Slayer’s Take guild on the server I started on, which is so weird and full-circle!
  • (1:53:25) Laura: I have acquired Aluneth. This ancient extremely powerful staff was once owned by Aegwynn. The only female guardian of Tirisfal. This staff carries a mind far more ancient than most things in Azeroth. My spell attack rolls gain a +3 to hit. Whenever I deal damage, I deal 2 additional hit points of force damage!
  • (2:02:50) Matt: You watch as some of the metal scraps scrape across the ground on their own. They leap up into the air and form bracers of thick piece of armor, separate, as molten rock begins to shoot up and flame ignites, filling the center of the empty armor into a large elemental-like enemy made of fire and magma within the armor. This magma rager appearing, giving this flexing roar, goes charging towards you.
  • (2:12:35) Liam: This is called Adventure Fury: Blessed Blade of the Thrill Seeker. This weirdly pristine longsword is encased in meticulous, almost gaudy gold scrolling and rune-like carving that spell out phrases like ‘Carpe Diem’-- like your shirt of the doughnut-- and ‘You Only Live Once.’ You gain +2 to all attacks and damage rolls made with this weapon. You are immune to fear. If you ever attempt to flee from danger, you must me a wisdom saving throw (DC 12). On a failure, you instead rush towards the challenge in hopes of glory. YOLO!
  • (2:20:35) Liam: Is it the Warcraft dancing animation?
  • (2:49:37) Jennifer: Kingslayer! Dagger, artifact, requires attunement slot, one-handed weapon. Once commissioned by the orc warlock Gul’dan for his assassin Garona, this blade has seen many a death at its hands. One of a pair, the other has been lost to time. You gain +3 to all attack and damage rolls made with this weapon. When you hit an enemy, they take an additional 1d8 poison damage and must make a constitution saving throw (DC 14) or become poisoned until the end of your next turn.
  • (3:10:30) Travis: Can I use my Hammer of Justice
  • (3:14:12) Liam: I will use Whirlwind, my warrior class ability…
  • (3:25:14) Liam: And I use Gift of the Naaru.
  • (3:26:51) Laura: I’m going to use Frost Nova
  • (4:00:00) Matt: ...who went on to greet the goddess, Elune.
  • (4:01:50) Matt: Man, can it really be worse up on Argus right now?
  • (4:02:03) Quazirat: Will one of you please look after my WoW account?

Non-WoW References:

  • (0:03:30) Laura: Wait, but I don’t think I have it with me.  Taliesin: Wait, wait. Wait, is it this?  Liam: Wait.  Taliesin: Wait. (Comic Con inside joke)
  • (0:06:15) Matt: I will be at Paradise City Comic Con in Miami January 12-14. [...] Later in 2018 I’ll be at Otafest in Calgary May 18-20, and A-Kon in Texas June 7-10. [...] Travis: We’re at SacAnime the first week of January.
  • (0:06:55) Liam: We did a podcast. (All Work No Play)
  • (0:47:58) Matt: Just limp, drunk ET-style.
  • (0:49:00) Liam: J-E-L-L-O.
  • (0:49:48) Travis: Quasimodo. (Hunchback of Notre Dame)
  • (1:03:31) Liam: What’s up, Buttercup?
  • (1:04:30) Liam: Colville, don’t f*** me, Colville!
  • (1:04:50) Liam: Oh, Fievel, your troubles are just beginning. (An American Tail)
  • (1:23:00) Matt: You have that damp, hard water, Pirates of the Caribbean ride smell.
  • (1:31:33) Liam: I grab rope that has Reekcheeks and bring him over. (Potentially ref to Reepicheep from Chronicles of Narnia)
  • (1:32:59) Liam: Give it to Mikey, he’ll try anything! (Life cereal commercial)
  • (1:33:42) Matt: I know kung fu.  Travis: Show me. (The Matrix)
  • (2:06:19) Jennifer: Fly, fly away.  Travis: Fly far, far away. (Forrest Gump)
  • (2:20:05) Travis: Like the Skip It toys.
  • (2:31:55) Travis: Let the dice hit the floor, let the dice hit the floor. (“Bodies” by Drowning Pool)
  • (3:01:25) King: Rakanishu, it look like company we has!
  • (3:15:20) Quazirat: Ever hear of Baryshnikov? Amateur! (The Princess Bride)
  • (3:26:13) Laura: YOLO, my friend. (Dos Equis commercials)
  • (3:47:09) Matt: ...anime missile style.
  • (3:49:25) Liam: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Pots.

Puns

  • (0:16:12) Liam: Quazirat Toes.  Taliesin: Ten of them.
  • (0:30:48) Matt: To the bush. Travis: Are we amused by the bush? (amuse-bouche)
  • (3:49:25) Liam: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Pots.