Bar Room Blitz Master Post

Thanks to @WendyDoodles for this art piece!

A starstruck sun elf, an angry tabaxi, the girl from The Ring, the D&D equivalent of My Chemical Romance, and some dwarves walk into a bar... hilarity ensues. Also Greep.

Damage dealt to others by the group: 126
Damage dealt to each other: 92
Time required to solve lock puzzle: 0:13:58

Kills and Casualties

Confirmed Deaths

  • Zavra the Prostitute (Old Man)
  • The Mutton Man (Jayne)
  • Guard (Clothesline)
  • Innocent Male Bystander (Salamander)
  • Old Lady with Horsehoof face (Frankfurt)
  • Salamander (Gryffin, HDYWTDT)
  • Guard Captain (Jayne)

Unconfirmed Casualties

  • House Cat (set on fire)
  • Innocent Female Bystander (set on fire)
  • Group of patrons (put to sleep)
  • Another Innocent Male Bystander (set on fire)

Thanks to @Megzilla87 for this art piece!

Crit Count

Natural 20s

  • Clothesline (0:33:30) Intelligence Check
  • Gryffin (0:42:32) Bar Fight Initiative
  • Clothesline (1:07:53) Strength Save
  • Frankfurt (1:35:41) Wisdom Save
  • Jayne (2:48:58) Investigation Check
  • Clothesline (2:52:03) Wisdom Save
  • Clothesline (3:44:27) Clothesline against Jayne
  • Clothesline (3:44:56) Clothesline against Jayne

Natural 1s

  • Jayne (1:51:45) Whip against Frankfurt

DM Crits

  • Ranger (Nat1, 1:25:05) Arrow against Clothesline
  • Guard (Nat20, 1:27:24) Longsword Attack against Clothesline
  • Ranger (Nat1, 2:09:41) Crossbow against Clothesline
  • Salamander (Nat1, 3:26:00) Spear against Gryffin


Time "Clothesline" was said: 48

  • Proper noun: 33
  • Verb: 11
  • Adjective: 3
  • Noun: 1

Thanks to @vixtopher for this art piece!

Brian’s Musical Moments

  • (1:37:10) (Vicious Mockery) I’m so excited! And I just can’t hide it! I know, I know, I know, I’m gonna kill you!
    • “I’m so Excited” by The Pointer Sisters
  • (2:01:06) (Inspiration to Clothesline) Pour me some greep, boys, and f*** my tab, I wanna go home with this sexy cat and maybe Jayne… and definitely Kay.
    • “Drift Away” by Various Artists
  • (2:15:45) *singing* Blinded by the light! Wrapped up like a…
    • “Blinded by the Light” by Manfred Mann’s Earth Band
  • (2:42:41) Brian: Let my a** lighten the way!  Sam: To your heart!
    • “Let My Love Open the Door” by Pete Townshend
  • (3:22:20) Brian and Liam: 867-5309!
    • “867-5309” by Tommy Tutone
  • (3:42:54) (Vicious Mockery) I was gone for a minute, but I’m back now. Sit the f*** back down. Seem everyday nowaday a Hollywood. [...] I’mma show all those motherf***ers how to act now.
    • “Everybody” by Logic NSFW
  • (3:43:49) (Healing Word) I love Greep. I love cat people. What the hell am I doing here?
    • “Creep” by Radiohead

Gil References

  • (0:42:35) Mary: Natural 20! Thanks for not f***ing me, Gil!
    • Mary, Initiative Success
  • (1:04:30) Brian: Don’t f*** me, Gil.
    • Brian, Perception Check Success
  • (2:40:45) Brian: Don’t f*** me, Gil. [...] Thank you, Gil.
    • Brian, Acrobatics Check Success
  • (2:56:43) Brian: Gil, should I use Gil?
    • Brian, Constitution Success and Failure

Character Cards