Tails of Equestria Masterpost

Thanks to @OhJeeToriG for this art piece!

One-shot Wrap Up, One-shot Wrap Up!
Let’s give our ponies a cheer.
One-shot Wrap Up, One-shot Wrap Up!
‘Cause the Tails of Equestria Masterpost is here,
The Tails of Equestria Masterpost is here.

Tomeytine’s Self-Help/Motivational Book References

Thanks to @BaronBoar for this art piece!

My name is Tomeytine
I have a tome in hooves
I’m gonna read to you and I will help us both improve!

Trixie’s Gadgets

Mare Do Well’s got nothing on her.

  • (0:32:15) Magical cupcake dispenser

  • (0:47:37) Pie’n’Go

  • (1:45:59) Improvised flute for Tomey

  • (2:03:29) Little robotic ponies for everyone in the party

  • (2:25:43) Tracker that looks like a little spider

  • (2:42:44) Flying machine for Lapis

Peaches and Tomey’s Flute Performances

Thanks to @OhJeeToriG for this art piece!

Hey, when you find you’ve got the music, got the music in you…

Pi’s Calculations and Countings

Countess Pi has got the stats
One, two, three, four
Countess Pi has got the stats
One, two, three, four!

  • (0:11:37) 3,475 cupcakes

  • (0:15:08) 4,297 steps to the castle

  • (0:15:20) 2,242 steps on two hooves

  • (0:27:05) 112 stairs

  • (0:50:45) 10,493 steps to get around the castle

  • (1:38:57) Calculates the distance to the mountain based on the curvature of Equestria

  • (2:07:07) Counted every tree in the forest

  • (2:19:55) Studies the stats of the other jousters

  • (3:17:24) Bores Lapis with many digits of pi, so he sleeps

Whirly’s Whirling

Thanks to @OhJeeToriG for this art piece!

He’s the fastest spinning pony around
Got the stars, got the binocs,
No harder spinning pony around.

  • (0:39:18) To try to hurl a cupcake into the bear’s mouth

  • (1:13:54) To try to fling off his armor to stop the train before the earthquake hits it

  • (2:18:30) To call all earth ponies to band together and help Lapis (and also maybe go on strike) (just talks about it, but doesn’t do it)

  • (3:34:19) To fling poo at the Baldog

Media References

Thanks to @OhJeeToriG for this art piece!

Earth ponies and unicorns and pegasi, oh my!
And a bear. There was also a bear. (Bauble LOVES his sweeties.)

  • (0:22:00) Mark: I GM a show called High Rollers.

  • (0:01:07) Roger: Thank you, Mork.

  • (0:05:14) Mark: The beginnings of pony Batman begins.

  • (0:13:38) Mark: I can’t pull off Tara Strong, sadly.

  • (0:15:27) Roger: Have you ever seen Rain Man?

  • (0:16:17) Mark: Very Minas Tirith-style, built into the mountain.

  • (0:24:31) Liam: We’re ponified. (Oh Brother Where Art Thou?)

  • (0:46:04) Roger: Thurston Howell?! (Gilligan’s Island)

  • (1:03:44) Liam: This is where the game turns into Memento.

  • (1:05:09) Peaches: We’re a cover band of Chicago. [...] What’s a Chicago song? [...] Roger: I’m going to get it wrong with Boston. Ashley: All I’m thinking of is “Africa,” but that’s Toto. Julie: All I can think of is Journey songs right now. Whirly: Just a small town pony! (“Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey) Mark: They bless the rains down in Gelderland. (“Africa” by Toto) Whirly: Dude, that’s Wheezer.

  • (1:07:48) Lapis: Mane of Thrones (Game of Thrones).

  • (1:10:14) Roger: Now that we’re away from Captain Thunderpants (Captain Underpants).

  • (1:11:50) Mark: The Pony Express makes its way out…

  • (1:12:22) Mark: You’re playing Pony Monopoly or something.

  • (1:17:48) Whirly: Precious. (Gollum, The Hobbit/Lord of the Rings)

  • (1:39:45) Ashley: I just remembered one of the favorite songs that we play in our band is “You’re the Inspiration.” (Chicago)

  • (1:41:19) Roger: She plays “Brick” by Ben Folds Five.

  • (1:41:44) Roger’s hold music is “The Girl from Ipanema” by Frank Sinatra.

  • (1:58:55) Whirly: Peaches, start playing Enya on your flute.

  • (2:15:51) Whirly: Did you ever know that you’re my hero? Peaches: You’re the wind beneath my wings. (“Wind Beneath My Wings” by Bette Midler)

  • (2:20:37) Tomey: Well, that’s a horse of a different color! (The Wizard of Oz)

  • (2:22:38) Tomey: It’s like the Ark of the Covenant. (Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark)

  • (2:27:51) Lapis: Throwing milkshakes over unicorns.

  • (2:31:36) Whirly: She opened up for Boston. [...] And Chicago.

  • (2:36:17) Peaches: I’ve been to a lot of Ren Faires. I’ve seen Mane of Thrones. (Game of Thrones)

  • (2:38:55) Peaches plays “You’re the Best Around” by Joe Esposito

  • (2:41:47) Pi: It’s going to be a whole Iron Pony thing. (Iron Man)

  • (2:41:53) Whirly: RoboPony. (RoboCop)

  • (2:46:56) Liam: Are you not entertained? (Gladiator)

  • (2:47:33) Mark: …this RoboPony jousting machine.

  • (2:50:07) Liam: The amateurish flute sounds of Eye of the Tiger.

  • (3:05:53) Mark: Hang on, I’m trying to get my voice. [...] It’s Sean Bean.

  • (3:07:12) Whirly: Rocky Mountain, are you high? (“Rocky Mountain High” by John Denver)

  • (3:10:05) Mark: The Baldog. (Balrog)

  • (3:13:11) Tomey: Win the tournament, change the country.  Peaches: Change the country, change the world. Whirley: Change the world, change the universe. (Heroes)

  • (3:16:38) Rocky Mountain: Keep it secret, keep it safe. (Lord of the Rings)

  • (3:16:44) Liam: If he’s a Sean Bean pony, he’s going to be dead by morning.

  • (3:23:29) Tomey: You are the Laz unicorn. (The Last Unicorn)

  • (3:25:32) Whirly: Sarah McLachlan.

  • (3:25:35) Peaches plays “Angel” by Sarah McLachlan. Julie: Sad pony eyes. (SPCA Commercial)

  • (3:27:59) Liam: Is he Mission Impossible-ing?

  • (3:29:43) Duke Zircon: I don’t believe it! The Balrog-- the Baldog (Lord of the Rings)

  • (3:31:24) Tomey: There was the legend of a giant cat centuries ago that came up out of the earth and they threw a giant fish in the ocean and the cat chased it. So we give the dog what he wants. Whirly: A bone! Pi: Lasagna? (Garfield)

  • (3:33:38) Tomey: We shall not go quietly into the night! (Independence Day, Dylan Thomas)

  • (3:38:09) Tomey: Friendship is magic. (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)

Horse Puns

Of course.

  • (0:05:00) Trixie: I kind of have a superpony complex.

  • (0:12:01) Mark: Those Appaloosan casinos really don’t like it.

  • (0:14:37) Trixie: I take the time out to do a hoof pump because today’s the day!

  • (0:15:27) Whirly: Have you ever seen Rain Man? Mark: Rain Pony.

  • (0:18:45) Pi: I wouldn’t want it to cause any ruffled manes or anything.

  • (0:24:31) Tomey: We’re ponified.

  • (0:27:12) Peaches: She’s like Rain Mare.

  • (0:30:22) Pi: There was an escape stable that we were all playing in one day.

  • (1:02:34) Tomey: We are a bunch of yay-sayers, not neigh-sayers.

  • (1:05:52) Whirly: Just a small town pony!

  • (1:05:55) Mark: They bless the rains down in Gelderland.

  • (1:06:46) Whirly: It’s leg day. Mark: It’s all four leg days.

  • (1:07:48) Lapis: Mane of Thrones.

  • (1:11:23) Tomey: Pony Robbins

  • (1:11:50) Mark: The Pony Express makes its way out…

  • (1:12:25) Roger: Pon-opoly. [...] Pi: I prefer Mono-pony.

  • (1:43:07) Julie: Hold your horses!

  • (2:07:58) Julie: The hoof, you say.

  • (2:35:29) Tomey: One trot at a time. Little steps.

  • (2:35:37) Pi: Let’s not put the joust before the horse here.

  • (2:36:18) Peaches: I’ve seen Mane of Thrones.

  • (2:37:46) Tomey: Let’s quit horsing around and get to work.

  • (2:41:47) Pi: It’s going to be a whole Iron Pony thing.

  • (2:41:53) Whirly: RoboPony.

  • (2:47:33) Mark: …this RoboPony jousting machine.

  • (3:26:30) Mark: He’s a big Salt-Hoof McLachlan-- I can’t think of a Sarah pun.

  • (3:28:31) Tomey: Rein this b****rd in.

Non-Horse Puns

Also of course.

  • (0:47:48) Mark: You could make any pies [...] You hear Countess Pi from the other room.  Pi: Pi(e)?

  • (1:10:14) Whirly: Now that we’re away from Captain Thunderpants.

  • (2:31:53) Markeia: There’s an earth pony named Doug? Mark: Yeah, Doug. I’m Dig, that’s Doug.

  • (2:32:03) Dig: What’s your name? Whirly: Whirlypoo. Dig: Haha! It’s got “poo” in it! Whirly: It does! [...] I I have to be honest, do you not chuckle every time he says the name Duke?

  • (2:36:27) Trixie: I think I get the jist of it? Peaches: The jist of the joust?

  • (2:38:46) Tomey: You can start pumping pages.

  • (2:43:44) Mark: Thanks to Whirlypoo. Whirly: It’s the least I could … doo.

  • (2:46:36) Markeia: Because he’s the son of a Duke. Whirly: Duke.

  • (2:48:24) Tomey: It will be a knight like no other.

  • (3:02:05) Trixie: We will see about that, Sir Duke. Whirly: Ha. Duke.

  • (3:03:34) Lapis: We need a team name! Whirly: Dukinators. [...] Tomey: Team Laz Chance.

  • (3:07:12) Whirly: Rocky Mountain, are you high? Rocky Mountain: I’m on the same ground as you.

  • (3:07:48) Whirly: What’s the deal with Duke (snorts) Zircon. Why are we -- Duke. Sorry.

  • (3:10:05) Mark: The Baldog.

  • (3:23:29) Tomey: You are the Laz unicorn.

  • (3:27:28) Liam: Laz chance.

  • (3:29:43) Duke Zircon: I don’t believe it! The Balrog-- the Baldog.

  • (3:37:30) Mark: Anybody else? Whirly: Duke. Just Duke. Mark: It’s still funny.

  • (3:37:45) Whirly: The Laz Duke. Tomey: Number two.