DM Facepalms: Season 1

In a world filled with creative individuals, one man must guide them on a journey of ultimate adventure. And inevitably, while that is going on, zany events are going to happen that force that man to bring his hand to his head. (We love you, Matt!) Updated through Episode 36; all regularly updated here!

01 Arrival at Kraghammer

  1. (2:20:38) Vax caught stealing wine from Lord Greyspine.

02 Into the Greyspine Mines

  1. (0:53:55) Keyleth’s ”dwarvish” accent.

03 Strange Bedfellows

None.

04 Attack on the Duergar Warcamp

A couple bent-over laughs, but no face palms.

05 The Trick About Falling (Thanks to AshesOfValkana for confirming)

None.

06 Breaching the Emberhold (Thanks to arosebyabbie for confirming)

  1. (1:22:29) Reminiscing on the fact that Keyleth “killed that kid that one time.”

07 The Throne Room (Thanks to Kathatherine)

  1. (00:55:15) Scanlan: “Don’t say pinched off to me!”

08 Glass and Bone (Thanks to @ComplexityOfOne)

  1. (0:47:10) Scanlan’s comment regarding Vax’s suggestion that Kima and Clarota take the first watch together.

09 Yug’Voril Uncovered

Despite a slew of dick jokes, Matt’s face remains un-palmed.

10 K’Varn Revealed

  1. (0:39:00) Impressed with Vex’s saving throw of 30.

11 The Temple Showdown (Thanks to AshesOfValkana and @markus2002)

  1. (1:27:43) Orion suggests testing the acid on a certain rusty instrument.

12 Dungeons and Dragons Campaign Tips

Shockingly, Vox Moronica induces absolutely none.

13 Escape from the Underdark

  1. (1:17:47) Realization that Vax just narrowly saved Pike from getting killed.
  2. (1:35:22) Remarking on Pike almost dying again.

14 Shopping and Shipping (Thanks to notquitemrdarcy)

  1. (2:41:38) Gilmore’s assistant Sherri in response to group’s haggling.

15 Skyward

  1. (1:02:08) At Scanlan’s, “…spy on my good friend, and future wife…”
  2. (1:25:13) Captain Damon in response to Keyleth ignoring his instructions to teeter over the edge of the ship. “A week. We have a week.”

16 Enter Vasselheim

  1. (1:16:32) Scanlan: “I don’t know how the Lord works, it’s mysterious.”

17 Hubris

  1. (0:18:31) Scanlan explaining his… actions, in Pike’s temple.
  2. (0:19:17) “Should we collect the dump?”
  3. (0:19:40) Scanlan further explaining his… actions.
  4. (0:19:56) Scanlan explaining how the potion works.
  5. (0:20:28) “What’s cellular?” “It’s poo.“
  6. (1:18:02) Grog’s narrow defeat in the Crucible.
  7. (2:08:45) Scanlan: “They’re not monkeying around!”
  8. (2:10:59) Scanlan’s “Shake It Off” variation.
  9. (2:12:58) Scanlan casts “Seeming” over everybody.

18 Trial of the Take Part 1 (Thanks to AshesOfValkana)

  1. (0:27:00) Murten facepalms, and I quote, “as hard as he possibly can” as Lyra straight up flashes the group while trying to clean her robe.
  2. (0:54:07) The customers of the tavern tire of the owner’s overtold dragon tale.
  3. (1:09:05) Uncle Randy’s manager seems quite done with Lyra and pinches the bridge of his nose.
  4. (2:26:00) As Lyra explains her intimate experience with Aldor (“and we had intercourse”), Matt looks straight into the camera with palm to face.

19 Trial of the Take Part 2 (Thanks to AshesOfValkana for confirming)

None.

20 Trial of the Take Part 3

  1. (1:45:18) Tiberius questions the plan right when it seems to have come together.

21 Trial of the Take Part 4

  1. (0:45:33) Wil rolls a 3 vs. the rats.
  2. (0:45:55) Wil rolls a 1 vs. the rats.
  3. (1:24:54) Wil rolls. (Need I say more?)
  4. (2:51:31) Wil rolled a 1 on initiative.
  5. (3:10:45) Wil rolled a 1 on a saving throw.
  6. (3:15:29) Dominated Vax rolled a Nat20 vs. Kashaw.
  7. (3:41:47) Orion misunderstands Ring of Storing.
  8. (3:41:54) Orion learning how Ring of Storing works.
  9. (3:54:25) Matt explaining why Fireball in a tunnel is a terrible idea.

22 AraMente to Pyrah

  1. (0:46:48) Conversation about blue poop.
  2. (4:23:17) Almost had to face the red dragon.

23 THE REMATCH

  1. (2:06:37) “Grog, would you like any young boys to accompany you?”

24 The Feast

None.

25 Crimson Diplomacy

None.

26 Consequences and Cows

  1. (0:35:13) Scanlan’s claim that they were pulling an intervention on Tiberius.
  2. (2:43:19) Scanlan, appearing as a calf, poops on the ground.
  3. (2:56:59) Vox Moochina flies after the roc.

27 The Path to Whitestone

  1. (0:50:21) Scanlan’s “All the single Percys.”
  2. (2:40:23) Tiberius wants to do MORE stuff. “Look, guys, I destroyed him!”
  3. (2:48:15) Tiberius wants to wait on teleportation to show off the laboratory.

28 The Sun Tree

  1. (2:22:13) “Pull the pin and throw it!” Scatlan grenade.

29 Whispers

  1. (0:39:55) Vax, Scanlan, and Darrell fail, again, to get the door open.

30 Stoke the Flames

To be honest, I don’t think Matt was capable of facepalming in that costume.

31 Gunpowder Plot

None.

32 Against the Tide of Bone

  1. (1:01:24) “So show me that Grog Blood, HUH!”
  2. (2:26:43) “She’ll light up the hole.” “I hope so!”

33 Reunion

None

34 Race to the Ziggurat

  1. (4:11:34) “As I kill your husband the Lich and I’ll make you my bitch!” “Silas is a Vampire.” “It didn’t rhyme. It’s fine.”

35 Denouement

None.

36 Winter’s Crest Whitestone

  1. (0:34:26) “That sounds like it would be the quickest ROOT to go.”

 

A few honorable but non-qualifying mentions:

 

  1. (Ep04, 1:28:49) Sam: “This is the exact conversation they had when they were about to go kill Osama Bin Ladin!”
  2. (Ep04, 2:36:27) Scanlan demonstrating Cutting Words with his phone.
  3. (Ep06, 1:06:27) Scanlan forces Matt to break character from Clarota. “Dave.”
  4. (Ep15, 1:25:55) Tiberius’s selfie staff. Matt doesn’t actually facepalm at this time, but it results in an epic one in episode 17 during Critmas (4:03:22).
  5. (Ep21, 2:52:55) “Thorbir, you want the taint? I hear there’s tons of magic in it.”
  6. (Ep22, 2:38:22) The Hidden Valley invokes another curse from the DM.
  7. (Ep23, 1:39:48) Burt Reynold’s mustache forces “the Bastion” to break character.
  8. (Ep24, 1:14:04) “You’re walking straight, so it couldn’t have gone too well.”
  9. (Ep25, 2:18:37) “I am just looking at the symbol, I am not looking at anything else.”
  10. (Ep26, 2:56:58) Two words: Flying cows.