Monster Analysis: Fassbender (Stone Golem)

  • First Appearance: 53 At Dawn, We Plan!
  • Armor Class 17
  • Speed 30 ft
  • Darkvision 120 ft, Passive 10
  • Immune to poison, psychic, nonmagical physical damage
  • Immune to charmed, exhaustion, frightened, paralyzed, petrified, poisoned
  • Suggested average, max HP: 178, 255

“Spike” Fassbender “Fluffy” appears to share very many traits with the Monster Manual’s stone golem. The damage dealt to Grog from a single slam attack is within the expected range. Fassbender also demonstrated that he can cast Slow, which most stone golems can cast on any number of creatures within 10 feet of themselves (DC 17). Unlike slotted spells, however, a golem can cast Slow an indefinite number of rounds per day, provided it recharged the ability to do so at the beginning of each round (not dissimilar to a dragon recharging its breath weapon).

What makes Fassbender so inspired, in addition to his fantastic mustache, is that instead of being a disenchanted animate object with a set of pre-programmed commands, Quall turned him into an item that takes commands each round. While he would be a great ally against dragons (particularly Raishan the Green), his groundedness and use of a precious attunement slot makes an interesting conundrum for the party. We also saw that, unlike the textbook stone golem, he is not immune to non-adamantine weapons, as Grog’s punch demonstrated. There’s also the minor matter of him belonging to Quall and not the party…