Much a Poo About Gnome Thing

We are finally cleaning our hands of this task. Originally, we were keeping track of every time poop came up in conversation, but … well, there’s a lot of this crap. Naturally, Scanlan comes up more than anyone else. Since the list keeps growing, we are going to list the times that we know that bodily refuse either happened or was discussed, AND THAT WILL BE ALL. Thank you. (Permanently updated to episode 35.)

Scanlan Poos

  1. Episode 04 (2:09:55) “I also take a little poo in my pants.”
  2. Episode 07 (0:51:23) Scanlan poops on the guest bed.
  3. Episode 17 (0:18:10) Scanlan magically relieves himself in the Temple of Sarenrae.
  4. Episode 23 (2:39:30) Scanlan reveals that he did, in fact, “shit in the hallway.”
  5. Episode 26 (2:43:06) Scanlan, appearing as a cow, poops on the ground.
  6. Episode 27 (2:36:00) Scanlan takes a second dose of the potion and leaves the remains in the kitchen before they head to Whitestone.

General Bodily Waste Mentions

01 Arrival at Kraghammer (BurdenedWithNoPurpose, kathatherine)

  • (2:01:39) Travis suggests Scanlan “drop a deuce.”

04 Attack on the Duergar Warcamp (BurdenedWithNoPurpose)

  • (1:13:30) Vax and Scanlan fill a bucket with goblin excrement.
  • (1:43:23) Scanlan attacks the Illithid with said bucket.
  • (2:09:55) “I also take a little poo in my pants.”

07 The Throne Room (ashesofvalkana, rusty-diamond)

  • (0:51:23) Scanlan poops on the guest bed.
  • (1:00:33) Pike considers pooping on the other guest bed (at Liam’s suggestion), but reconsiders.

10 K’varn Revealed

  • (Full Episode) The chalkboard speaks truth.

13 Escape From the Underdark (dragonmustang01)

  • (2:52:26) Scanlan checks his bed for “karma.”
  • (2:52:31) Tiberius confirms that he left some in rat form.

15 Skyward

  • (0:49:16) Vax suggests Pike celebrate her reconnection to Sarenrae by “shitting on a bed.”

17 Hubris

  • (0:18:10) Scanlan relieves himself in the Temple of Sarenrae.
  • (0:19:00) The dump is revealed to be magical. The discussion lasts for some time.
  • (0:20:29) Matt takes over to prevent a “half-hour talk about Scanlan’s excrement.”
  • (1:23:44) Scanlan offers to “look through his shit” to distract everyone from Grog’s loss.

22 AraMente to Pyrah (TUX3D0_MASK)

  • (0:45:56) Tiberius asks Pike about any oddities of a particular color in the temple. Pike confirms that she did come across the item they described.
  • (4:20:47) The party assures Pike that she is always a part of their journey, and tells her to “keep the poo close.”

23 The Rematch

  • (2:30:47) Scanlan offers to poop in the Temple of Kord.
  • (2:38:30) Scanlan subtly threatens to poop in the Liceum.
  • (2:39:30) Scanlan reveals that he did, in fact, “shit in the hallway.”
  • (2:58:20) Vex asks Scanlan how to look into his magic poo.
  • (2:58:50) Scanlan promises to stop scrying if Pike happens to be naked in front of his poo.
  • (2:59:00) Scanlan begins the scrying.
  • (3:01:44) Scanlan confirms that the spell is any waste, not just poo.

25 Crimson Diplomacy (thesingingbadger)

  • (0:31:30) Keyleth releases her “avian payload” on Lillith.
  • (2:28:42) Vax implies that he soiled himself fighting the Briarwoods.
  • (3:23:15) Vax suggests that Scanlan poops on the face of the Broker’s remaining man.

26 Consequences and Cows

  • (0:26:36) “Beds are fair game!”
  • (2:43:06) Scanlan, appearing as a cow, poops on the ground.

27 The Path to Whitestone

  • (1:02:43) Sam exclaims “Stool Softener!”
  • (1:33:49) When asked if Scanlan can still cast spells when polymorphed to be very small, he assures Vex that he can still “shit on things.”
  • (2:36:00) Scanlan takes a second dose of the potion and leaves the remains in the kitchen before they head to Whitestone.

28 The Sun Tree (thesingingbadger)

  • (1:10:51) “When I poo somewhere, I can see everything.”
  • (2:20:22) Quick Scry to the poo jar.
  • (2:22:06) “I could get in, shit in their bedroom, and leave!”
  • (2:22:13) “Pull the pin and throw [the Scatlan grenade]!”

29 Whispers (thesingingbadger)

  • (1:12:01) “Want me to pee on the altar?”

30 Stoke the Flames (thesingingbadger)

  • (1:01:03) “I use my movement because I just woke up to pee.” “Do you have morning …?” “It’s midnight wood.”
  • (1:03:45) Scanlan “dual wielding” with his wand and his … wand and “spraying everywhere.”
  • (1:22:53) HDYWTDT kill with pelvic thrusting and bonus, um, “running water” damage to Vampire spawn

33 Reunions

  • (p2.0:32:34) Scrying through the jar in the keep.

35 Denouement

  • (0:07:05) Pre-game discussion about how the sweatshirt pocket holds two poops
  • (0:08:35) Regarding Travis’s comment that they will poop in your Wyrmwood box, Sam assures us, “I will do that upon request.”