Talks Machina Episode 91 Highlights: 2-42

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Tonight’s guests are Marisha Ray and Laura Bailey (with special guest appearance from Ronin! Awwww), so I can hardly wait. We’re discussing Episode 42: A Hole in the Plan.

  • Announcements:

    • Brian is bursting with an announcement he’s not allowed to reveal for another six months. His favorite guess: something about him stealing all the money from the company and moving to an island, but that’s actually his long game, not the short one.

    • Throughout November, they’re raising money for Operation Supply Drop, Travis’s favorite charity, which supports both active and retired military.

    • No episode of Critical Role this week due to Thanksgiving. There will also be no episode of Talks Machina next Tuesday; instead, they’ll be airing Sam’s Fireside Chat! This was a reward from the Critter donations to the Pablove Foundation.

    • Critical Role hoodies are back in the store; the print is very similar to the original with a bit more embellishment on the text on the back.

    • “Honey Heist 3: Tova’s Honies” airs this Friday at 7pm Pacific! Marisha: “It was bear-nanas.” Laura: “Oh, no.”

  • Stats for this episode:

    • Jester has cast Blessing of the Trickster 31 times; 15 of those times were on Nott.

    • Jester technically won her bar brawl with Sorris! She dealt 16 points of damage to his 15.

    • Beau continues to have the most natural 20s with 49. She also has the most natural 1s, womp womp.

    • Marisha: “Well, I roll a lot, you know?” Brian: “Well, your husband is also a tyrant and not to be messed with.” Marisha says she thinks Gil’s die is cursed and everyone gasps. How dare.

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Talks Machina Episode 88 Highlights: Laura's One-Shot

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Tonight’s guests are Laura Bailey, Travis Willingham, and a particularly adorable special guest.

  • Announcements: 

    • BtS featuring Matt Mercer is now available on the Twitch channel and will be up on CR’s YouTube live tomorrow.

    • There will be a holiday edition of BtS featuring Ashley Johnson! Brian: “I can’t wait. I’ve got a lot of questions for her.”

    • The next episode of All Work No Play airs this Friday on the CR Twitch. This week, Liam and Sam learn how to spin fire, with guest star Marisha Ray.

    • Remember that Daylight Savings hits the US this week: check wheniscriticalrole.com if you’re confused! (…about time zones. They probably can’t help you with other things.)

  • Stats for this week’s episode: 

    • Andy dealt the most damage (158) and took the most damage (56). Andy also had the most kills with 6.

    • There were at least 36 unique references to the Schmarry Schmotter series.

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Crash Pandas: Too Trashed, Too Curious Masterpost

Crash Pandas: Too Trashed, Too Curious Masterpost

Thanks to @sephiramy for this art piece!

Car Names

Select your vehicle. Then poison the driver.

  • (0:15:00) R.E.V. Speedwagon: Burnt umber 1978 caprice station wagon

  • (0:15:09) Taxicab Concussions: Beat-up NYC Taxicab with the doors painted shut.

  • (0:15:16) Victor von Vroom: Green Corvette that looks zippy but hard to control

  • (0:15:24) The Exterminator: Royal blue exterminator van with Pest Control emblazoned on the side

  • (0:15:33) Mr. Fastee: A huge ice cream truck

  • (1:38:02) Sasscar: An adorable little mini roadster racer.

  • (1:38:32) Mothah Truckah: A tweaked-out GMC pickup that looks steady but slow, but very firm.

  • (1:38:50) Actual Vin Diesel: A supercharged engine.

  • (1:39:32) The Champion, a.k.a. Roadkill: Yellow and blue customized Ferrari with claws out front, its hood ornamented with a raccoon skull.

  • (1:40:30) This Guy On A Motorcycle.

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Talks Machina Episode 82 Highlights: 2-34

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Tonight’s guests are Laura Bailey and Matt Mercer (and Dani’s mom, offscreen, who confirms that we are indeed on the internet)!

  • Announcements:

    • Thursday, October 4 is the NYC live show! Some tickets are still available. Everyone is so happy that Laura and Travis will be there this time!

    • VOD of the first episode of Between the Sheets is available for CR Twitch subscribers now and will go up on CR’s YouTube channel tomorrow! This week’s features Taliesin Jaffe; next week’s is Travis Willingham!

    • Brian will be doing a Reddit AMA this coming Friday at 2 PM Pacific.

    • CR is raising money for the Pablove Foundation and has already raised $68,000. If they hit $100,000, Sam will do a Fireside Chat. Matt and Laura are excited, because for all that they consider Sam to be one of their closest friends, they feel like they don’t know too much about him. Everyone loves his wife, but Sam might be a spy-and-or-assassin. Theories abound.

      • Sam’s Crash Pandas one-shot will be streamed on Friday at 7 PM Pacific on the CR Twitch channel!

  • Stats for this episode:

    • Jester has dealt over 600 points of damage so far in the campaign. 

    • She has cast Cure Wounds 40 times. Matt: “That’s like once an episode.” Laura: “Matthew.” Brian: “You’re like an AFK Zenyatta. You’re a Mercy who’s just using her taser gun the whole time.”

    • Jester has used Blessing of the Trickster 26 times.

    • Matt announced his 40th natural 20 of the campaign. Matt: “Honestly, I think the Snitch, as much as I like to build the mystique, I think it has to be in Taliesin’s hands to become magical.” Dani: “If you’re not a paladin wielding the Holy Avenger, it’s just a sword.”

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Song of the Lorelei Masterpost

Song of the Lorelei Masterpost

Thanks to @totalpartykillr for this art piece!

For the Third Annual Burning Man One-Shot Filler Episode, Liam O’Brien takes us into another part of Wildemount, where we see another facet of the continent’s residents. The effects of wars of the past have shaped the lives of many, and the tale of the Lorelei bloodline proves that the wars of old have ways of living beyond their end...

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Talks Machina Episode 78 Highlights: 2-30

This summary has been reproduced from this Tumblr post.

Tonight’s guests are Laura Bailey and Travis Willingham AND THE TEENY BABY. Everyone is understandably distracted. Brian: “Let’s just show the baby for an hour.”

  • Announcements: 

    • Electric Beargaloo is up on CR’s YouTube.

    • A limited-run Honey Heist t-shirt is available on the store!

  • Stats for this episode: 

    • Fjord, Jester, and Yasha were missing for 6 days in-game (Laura and Travis were gone for 6 weeks out-of-game).

    • Jester’s cast Cure Wounds 38 times and Healing Word 6 times. Cure Wounds is her most-cast spell. Laura: “I am so happy about Taliesin making another healer. Me, personally. Inflict Wounds! Inflict Wounds! Inflict Wounds! Spiritual Weapon! Toll the Dead!” Travis: “That’s the mother of our child.”

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Gil References

Talks Machina 15 (0:38:32)

Brian: Should we have-- oh, I hate to do this to them, should we have CritRoleStats keep track of how many times Gil f***s someone or not?
Travis: Sure, yeah!
Matt: This is true; they don’t have enough to keep track of! Just throw more on the pile! I’m so sorry guys, I’m so sorry.
Brian: Andrew just threw a beer at the screen.
Gil: They’re five people, right?

Four, to be precise. Luckily, we have the most awesome volunteers in the world who stepped up to help us out! Updated to Episode 90.

For any critters who don’t know, Gil Ramirez is a blacksmith, critter, and all-around delightful person who forged dice for the Critical Role cast. You should go check out his work here.

Thanks to Alexandra, @ChrisVLinden, clefos, @dutchcritter, @EBalensuela, @fancynancypie, icecream-s-coops, @InvictusRob, @JacobSBrowning, @jgraveart, @Ju_Draakje, @_miss_maria_, mthwiz, @omrjeuss, Rosie-Lostbetweenthepages, @RowenaHighland1, soaringsparrows, Supertoasty, themeaningofnight, and zahra-hana for their work compiling this list!

  • Times Gil’s Dice Helped: 25
  • Times Gil’s Dice Hurt: 9
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Media References and Puns of Episode 90: Voice of the Tempest

Vox Machina: Making country songs out of fiends, shop owners, and city guardsmen since 2012

Media References

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Puns of Episode 89: Curious Tides

Beware the orca-strations of the gods!  (Real Talk: the cheesiness of that pun almost caused a full-scale war between the CRStats team members.)

  • (2:06:55) Liam: Enough about strawberry, how about RAW-berry?!  Taliesin: Juice Springsteen!
  • (2:12:48) Grog: Most rods are good close up.
  • (2:37:00) Vex: Probably need to start studying Orcus as well.  Grog: Why?  Vax: Uh, Orcas. Orcas. After all of that undersea...  Vex: All those killer whales.  Vax: Struggles.  Grog: Oh. Know our allies, yeah.
  • (2:37:18) Percy: Let’s take our time before the orcas.
  • (2:57:32) Grog: Because of my high OFF-ice, I will forgive this OFF-ense.
  • (3:01:04) Percy: Happy rebirthday!
  • (3:09:25) Laura: This is a journal! (pronounced as girl-nel)

Media References of Episode 89: Curious Tides

Who stole the lodestones from the Kraken's lair? Vox Machina stole the lodestones from the Kraken's lair? Who me? Yes, you! Couldn't be! It's true!

Media References and Puns of Episode 88: Tangled Depths

Under the sea, under the sea, down where the tentacles are grabbin', ancient creatures are snackin', Beware Of The Kraken! Under the sea!

Media References:

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Puns of Episode 87: Onward to Vesrah

We at CritRoleStats do not advise using any of Sam's pickup lines on anyone, not just Critical Role Sponsors.

  • (0:02:10) Sam: Hey, Critical Role Sponsor, do you have a map? ‘Cause I’m getting lost in your eyes!
  • (0:02:15) Sam: Critical Role Sponsor, of all the beautiful curves on your body, I’m most in love with your smile.
  • (0:02:22) Sam: Critical Role Sponsor, on a scale of 1 to 10, you’re a nine and I’m the one you need.
  • (0:05:00) Matt: Super happy to be a part of that.  Laura: (who plays Supergirl) Super happy!
  • (0:06:05) Travis: Cheese is for everybody. Not just me.  Sam: Did you say Jesus is for everybody?  Travis: Cheese.  Marisha: Cheez-Its?  Liam: Cheez-Its for everybody.  Matt: Cheez-Its Christ: for everybody.  Travis: Cheese and crust!
  • (0:12:54) Matt: I’ll show you mine if you show me yours?  Taliesin: Yeah.
  • (0:25:03) Grog: You wanna reach around and see if you get a handful of wooden boob?  Vax’ildan: You want me to do a reach around, is that what you’re asking me to do?  Grog: I might not ever ask you again, but right now: yes.
  • (1:23:30) Matt: ...and [Grog and Trinket] barely force [their] way out of it before it can do any serious damage to you.  Laura: Bearly.
  • (1:39:39) Matt: This guy is winching…. [...] Travis: Wenching.
  • (2:32:05) Liam: You guys, I’m gonna make a Tor Books run, anyone need anything?
  • (2:37:35) Taryon: When my father would have a sort-of cagey individual…
  • (2:57:21) Taliesin: Obviously, [Taryon and I] did it.
  • (3:31:39) Marisha: We’re gonna bring a bottle of Kraken! [...] Taliesin: And we’re not going to finish it.