THE REMATCH Play-by-Play

You people like your fights. I’m getting to the point where I’m going to be able to play broadcaster of the full fight without even needing to watch it. To prevent me from going that far and to cap off our commentary of the episode, let’s just go ahead and do the full play-by-play.

Round 1 (0:42:15) Grog DDT’s Kern over his shoulder (6) before raging. Kern responds by also raging, then monk-hitting Grog twice in the torso (9, 8). (Kern 6, Grog 17)

Round 2 (0:45:55) Grog elbows Kern in the nose (6) before attempting to blind him. He misses, but kicks Kern’s kneecap (7). Kern roundhouses Grog in the jaw (7) with a secondary kick to the side of the head (8). (Kern 19, Grog 32)

Round 3 (0:49:11) Grog misses three swipes. Kern crits with a solid punch to Grog’s torso, but Grog’s Stone’s Endurance absorbs the full impact. Kern attempts to kick Grog in the head again, but Grog catches the foot. (Kern 19, Grog 32)

Round 4 (0:51:58) Grog hyper-flexes Kern’s leg on his shoulder (8) before punching Kern’s exposed groin (8). Grog attempts to sweep out Kern’s other leg out from under him, but Kern leaps off Grog’s chest, putting distance between them. Scanlan sneaks in inspiration before Kern lands an uppercut (10). Kern then enters a dodge stance. (Kern 35, Grog 42)

Round 5 (0:55:47) Grog lands a flying kick (8) and is inspired enough to grasp Kern’s head, dig his thumbs in Kern’s eyes (6) and blind him for the round. Kern swings wide twice, but Grog’s chuckling gives away his position, allowing the third punch to land (7). (Kern 49, Grog 49)

Round 6 (1:00:25) Grog bites into Kern’s neck (8). He then picks Kern up and drops him over his knee Bane-style (14), stunning him. (Kern 71, Grog 49)

Round 7 (1:04:22) Grog rage stomps on his prone opponent, landing two blows (8, 8) before Kern rolls out of the way. Kern rolls to his feet, grapples Grog, and sinks his teeth into him (10), tearing Grog’s upper lip from his face. (Kern 87, Grog 59)

Round 8 (1:07:46) Grog breaks the grapple and attempts to headbutt Kern, but Kern throws off the attack by spitting Grog’s lip back in his face. Kern lands an uppercut and a haymaker (7, 8) and misses a backwards kicks from which he barely manages to recover. (Kern 87, Grog 74)

Round 9 (1:10:05) Grog misses a kick to the knee, but lands a punch to the face (8). The third attack leaves Grog exposed to a headbutt (9). Grog dodges another headbutt, but Kern lands the third (7). (Kern 95, Grog 90)

Round 10 (1:11:37) Grog uses the wall to launch himself at Kern (8), lands a foot into Kern’s groin to draw blood (7), and drives hit foot into the groin one more time (8). Kern grabs Grog’s leg in spite of Scanlan’s cutting words, dealing a solid punch and knee to the stomach (10, 12). Keyleth gets caught attempting a healing word, resulting in her and Tiberius getting dragged off by the Bastion. (Kern 118, Grog 112)

Round 11 (1:18:00) Grog drives his elbow into Kern’s chin (8), misses with the back-swing, and connects his heel to Kern’s kneecap (8). Kern’s resilience keeps him in the fight. Kern flies at Grog, pummeling the goliath (10, 8, 14). Grog’s relentless rage also keeps him standing. (Kern 134, Grog 144)

Round 12 (1:21:32) Grog attempts to finish the fight with three swings and a pair of one liners, all which fly wide. Vex raises her shirt to no effect, but Scanlan launches a clutch inspiration. Kern’s monk-punch is also short, forcing the half-orc to enter a defensive stance and summon his opponent to come at him. (Kern 134, Grog 144)

Round 13 (1:25:05) With inspired desperation, Grog launches his fist into Kern (8). A punch-drunk Kern is lifted in the air by the raging goliath before landing on his neck one last time, one more DDT to bookend the fight. Grog, victorious, stands over the body with leg on chest with the cry of the triumphant. (Kern 142, Grog 144)