The Screw Job Masterpost

Liam returns to the DM seat, this time at the helm of a Clasp heist job! Thanks to @3rdclover for the art!


Do… do you guys wanna hear a haiku I wrote?

Dren (0:42:52)

We walk down a thing
There is a bright man here, too
We are all much friends.

Dren (1:37:13)

I killed all the chests
They are now all dead so
So I am the best, y’all.

Dren (3:04:02)

You can do it my
dear friend Devan Bluebutton
Please don’t die now, please.

Obby (3:45:40)

I’m Obby the Rat
You know why they call me that?
‘Cause I hate haiku.

Dren (4:39:06)

Though I die today,
At least with my I love I go
F*** all you b*****ds.

Do you know why they call me Obby the Rat?

Obby the Rat is now realizing he must maintain accent for three hours with very little accent abilities.

  • (0:28:47) Because I am small, like rat.

  • (0:50:05) ‘Cause rats survive.

  • (1:50:58) I hate dogs.

  • (2:03:36) Obby: I hate art. Liam: You know why they call me Obby the Rat?

  • (3:24:50) Because Obby is actually short for Obenthal, it’s a nickname.

  • (3:45:40) ‘Cause I hate haiku.

  • (4:22:15) ‘Cause I can sniff out a rat!


We’re just going to leave this here.

  • (0:32:13) Liam: You know this, this is your grandmother’s sign. Laura: Siggle? Travis: Siggle. Liam: It’s the siggle of the shrew.

  • (2:40:22) Liam: This is a magic siggle.

  • (3:02:20) Liam: But, looking out the door of the room you’re in, you see across the hall, you see a circular siggle. Mary: Siggle.

  • (3:02:50) Travis: I walk over to the siggle and place it on it. Laura: It’s really a sigil, it’s not actually a siggle.

Tarvis’ Natural Ones

Dog, you feel a cut up your own face up to your eye…2 points of slashing damage.

  • Tarvis (2:39:23) Arcana Check

  • Tarvis (2:49:20) Arcana Check

  • Tarvis (3:32:01) Scimitar against Blink Dog 2

  • Tarvis (3:41:52) Whip against Blink Dog 3

  • Tarvis (4:05:07) Perception

  • Tarvis (4:19:50) Scimitar against Dren

Tarvis had 45 rolls, 6 of which were Nat1s. Full analysis on that coming in another post!

Crit Count

And, for posterity, the full crit count of the episode:

Nat20s (7)

  1. Obby (0:30:20) Strength Check

  2. Devan (Unknown, Nat20, 1:21:27) Strength Check with advantage

  3. Dren (Nat20, 1:30:35) Crossbow Sneak Attack

  4. Devan (Nat20, 1:43:19) Perception check for a symbol

  5. Tarvis (Nat20, 3:19:36) Scimitar Sneak Attack against LBD

  6. Obby (Nat20, 3:35:26) Hand Axe against BD2

  7. Devan (Nat20, 4:10:56) Dexterity Save

Nat1s (10)

  1. Delweth (0:44:45) Investigation Check

  2. Dren (0:59:12) Perception Check, negated by Lucky

  3. Obby (1:26:37) Dagger against LM

  4. Tarvis (2:39:23) Arcana Check

  5. Delweth (2:49:05) Arcana Check Thanks to an anonymous critter for this one!

  6. Tarvis (2:49:20) Arcana Check

  7. Tarvis (3:32:01) Scimitar against BD2

  8. Tarvis (3:41:52) Whip against BD3

  9. Tarvis (4:05:07) Perception

  10. Tarvis (4:19:50) Scimitar against Dren