Keyleth: Totally Done

As the group’s decided moral compass and awkward conversationalist, Keyleth had a really rough time in episode 26. Below are the times her frustration with Vox Machina’s choices were visually demonstrated.

  1. (0:20:30) “Just out of curiosity, um… Did anyone else hear him… Did anyone else just happen to hear what he said in that fight last night?”
  2. (0:21:31) “It was when he was screaming those cluster of things when he was shooting that mercenary in the face.”
  3. (0:24:21) “He chainsawed an old woman.”
  4. (0:36:55) “Kill softer.” “Ew.” “I’ll show you how, you just have to do it really slow.”
  5. (0:43:40) “[My sentries found] a freshly-murdered old woman not far behind the path you took.”
  6. (0:52:22) “[The Briarwoods] have shown nothing, in the past five years, but graciousness, and have gone through all the proper channels, to establish this relationship between our city and theirs, far more than the previous family ever attempted.”
  7. (0:56:57) “Here’s the circumstance: As it stands, I fear I must revoke Vox Machina’s membership in the Council of Tal’Dorei.”
  8. (1:02:08) “What happened? Your magic didn’t work.” “No it worked. It worked.”
  9. (1:08:09) “What sort of proof would they accept, the head of Lady Briarwood?”
  10. (1:09:59) “Do your best to clear your name.”
  11. (1:11:43) “Oh, you half-elfs, I swear to God. Haven’t you heard of lying?”
  12. (1:21:46) “We are friends of the elderly.”
  13. (2:21:05) “We need a warding spell!” “Why don’t we just leave someone behind?”
  14. (2:21:29) “Put little hats on them, make them cute!”
  15. (2:22:00) “I hate you so much, Vax!”
  16. (2:27:49) Combination of Drunk Tiberius and Moody Percy.

Moo.

Over the course of “Episode 26, Consequences and Cows,” the word ‘cow’ is uddered uttered 161 times (twice in the first half at 1:03:52 and 1:18:15, 100 times from 2:29:55 to 2:45:15, and 59 times from 2:45:15 to 3:47:30).

And now, cow puns. (I hoof have to admit, they’re rarer than I expected.)

  1. (2:30:13) “Let’s go deal with this bullshit.”

  2. (2:34:02) “I have an itch, and it can only be scratched by a cowbell.”

  3. (2:38:14) “It’s cow-maflague!”

  4. (2:44:41) “Roll for cow stealth!”

  5. (2:56:04) “What a heroic moooove!”

  6. (2:57:00) “Vox MOOOOChina!”

  7. (2:57:47) “Moo-urns.”

  8. (3:03:37) “This is udderly ridiculous.”

Nat Crits of 25: Crimson Diplomacy

Thanks to @MarkTheHooman and thesingingbadger for covering this episode!

Critical Wins

  • Vex'ahlia (0:59:02) Lightning Arrow vs. Lady Briarwood
  • Vex'ahlia (1:00:52) Second attack vs. Lady Briarwood
  • Lillith (2:43:08) Initiative vs. The Broker
  • Percy (3:06:28) Overkill vs. The Broker

Critical Fails

  • Vax'ildan (1:45:38) Dagger attack vs. Lord Briarwood

DM Rolls

  • Lady Briarwood (Nat1, 1:34:39) Counterspell vs. Scanlan’s Lightning

Monster Analysis: Lord and Lady Briarwood, Round 1

And we’re back, right before the next episode airs! This one is a long one, with a lot of analysis, a lot of theory spoilers, and a lot of speculation.

Lord Sylas Briarwood

  • First appearance: 24 The Feast
  • Armor Class: 19 or greater (MM: 18 AC)
  • Challenge Rating: 15 (Warrior Vampire)
  • Darkvision 120 ft, Passive Perception 17
  • Resistant to necrotic and nonmagical physical damage
  • Speed: 30 ft, 30 ft (bat), 20 ft (mist)
  • Avg, Max HP of Vampire (MM): 144, 204
  • 203 taken before fleeing, including healing
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