Platinum Golem

/

chaosmorning asks: I know they only appeared briefly, but I was wondering (as I hope to include them in my own game), if any of the stats of the Platinum Golems (that appeared in the vault the Horn of Orcus was sealed in) are known?

The Platinum Golems didn’t get much screen time (a grand total of 7 minutes, 48 seconds). After all, they were intended to create a sense of urgency rather than form an actual encounter.

We know Matt rolled three damage dice to deal 24 points of slashing damage to Kima from one of the golem’s cleavers. This seems comparable to the Iron Golem’s sword attack, which has a +13 to hit, 10-foot reach, and 3d10+7 damage (average of 23). This attack also knocked the halfing back 10 feet, requiring an acrobatics check to avoid falling prone.

Based on this, we’d suggest that you use the Iron Golem as the template for your own Platinum Golems (MM, p170):

  • First Appearance: 16 Enter Vasselheim
  • Challenge rating: 16 (individual), 29 (four together)*
  • Armor class: 20
  • Speed: 30 ft
  • Darkvision 120 ft, Passive 10
  • Immune to Fire, Poison, Psychic, and nonmagical, non-adamantine weapon damage
  • Immune to Charmed, Exhaustion, Frightened, Paralyzed, Petrified, and Poisoned
  • Advantage on saving throws against spells
  • ABSORBS fire damage and turns it into health
  • Average, Max HP: 210, 300

*Note that fighting four Platinum Golems would be slightly less difficult than fighting a single Tarrasque.

We would also suggest replacing the Poison Breath with something that would more likely be in Bahamut’s holy arsenal, like Radiant Breath. Hope your players have fun with those!

Puns of Episode 37

/

The puns of A Musician’s Nostalgia: occasionally flat, often sharp, and sometimes even accidentally funny!  *sad trombone*  I’ll see myself out.

  • (0:06:56) The impotent/important discussion
  • (011:21) Marisha: We have our proof.  Taliesin: It’s like 80 proof.  Marisha: Everclear proof.
  • (0:23:40) Sam: *heavy breathing* Fiber…fiber.  No movement yet.
  • (1:23:21) Marisha: I’m kind of wondering, if I was a sneaky bastard… Sam: You’re not, don’t say that about yourself.  Marisha: Thank you so much!  I sometimes get concerned.  If I was a sneaky bastard and I wanted to make sure… Sam: You’re not!  Marisha: Thank you!
  • (1:27:30) Marisha: Well, you know what they say, when you a-sum!
  • (2:18:31) Kaylee: I know better than most ladies who cross your path.  Scanlan: You may change your tune.
  • (2:18:57) Matt: What would you do to make Scanlan look better here?  Taliesin: Perhaps help him with his pitch.
  • (2:19:42) Kaylee: A holy woman?!  Scanlan: She’s got holes in all the right places.
  • (2:24:10) Dranzel: So I take it you’re all experienced in a little skulduggery.  Grog: *laughs heartily*  Percy: Grog, it doesn’t mean what you think it means.  Grog: Oh.
  • (2:40:27) Vax’ildan: Underneath here is a honeycomb of thieves… Grog: *gasp!* Honeycomb!  Oh…thieves.
  • (2:41:56) Scanlan: I’m sorry if we got off on a weird foot.  I have that effect on people sometimes.  Kaylee: Your feet are weird?  That’s interesting *looks intriguingly down towards his feet*
  • (2:46:21) Taliesin: Everyone keeps popcorn in their pocket.  Pocket-porn *immediately realizes what he said*
  • (3:25:39) Clasp Leader: Let me see your box.  Vex’ahlia: *snicker* Well!

Nat Crits of 37: A Musician’s Nostalgia

/

Critical Wins

  • Pike (0:49:02) Medicine check on Desmond
  • Grog (1:30:30) Arcana check on anti-scrying runes
  • Vax’ildan (3:10:48) Checking for traps on first lock.
  • Vax’ildan (3:11:20) Checking for traps on last lock (negated, since no advantage)
  • Vex’ahlia (3:40:59) Stealth vs. Daxio
  • Vax’ildan (3:54:05) Sneak Attack vs. Daxio (first roll with adv)
  • Pike (4:01:30) Holy Lasso vs. Daxio (first roll with adv)
  • Vax’ildan (4:03:23) Second attack vs. Daxio (with adv)

Critical Fails

None Stated.

DM Rolls

  • Daxio (Nat20, 4:09:11) Fourth attack vs. Keyleth
  • Daxio (Nat1, 3:46:58) Wis Save vs. Scanlan’s Hold Person (negated by Indomitable)
  • Daxio (Nat20, 3:52:57) Wis Save to shrug off Hold Person
  • Daxio (Nat20, 4:06:17) Athletics to break lasso grapple
  • Daxio (Nat1, 4:08:02) Second attack vs. Keyleth (with disadvantage)

Monster Analysis: Riskel Daxio (Elven Battle Master)

/
  • Encounter Appearance: 37 A Musician’s Nostalgia
  • Armor Class 17
  • Fighter (Battle Master)
  • Feat: Great Weapon Master
  • 179 damage taken, 23 HDYWTDT by Percy

We’re first introduced to Lord Daxio in passing in episode 14, when we learned that he was responsible for the construction of Greyskull Keep. His other mention, outside of his betrayal, was when the party sought his aid to install defenses in the keep against the Briarwoods. With the knowledge obtained in episode 31, it can be considered fortunate that his attention was divided at the time.

Based on his two uses of Indomitable that allowed him to reroll two failed saving throws, we can surmise that Daxio is between levels 13 and 16 (we estimate level 14). His use of the Great Weapon Master feat proved particularly deadly in the final round, granting him an additional 10 damage for each successful strike (an additional 30 whopping points, on top of a crit).

If we assume that Daxio was a level 14 fighter, he knew a total of 7 maneuvers, with a Str save DC of 17 or greater. Despite his array of options, we only received a demonstration of his Trip Attack (a fail vs. Grog, and a success vs. Keyleth). It is interesting to note that he prioritized disabling and assaulting individual party members, rather than attempting to flee. With the combined stressors of the warrant for his arrest and the sudden betrayal of his hidden location by the Clasp, it is little wonder that he chose the maxim: “If I’m going down, I’m taking at least one of you with me!”

Worst of all from the Daxio fight was a component no one could have controlled: the dice. A series of poor Intimidation checks from the party and successful saves from their quarry added to the complexity of getting him to “just give up already.”

/

anonymous asked: Why haven't you transcribed the episodes so far? Although it would take significant effort to do manually or to edit an automatic transcription, it seems potentially much easier than many, many re-watchings. Most of the cool stats I've seen would be obtainable with a simple text search, many more if stage directions were included.

Oh man, would a transcription of each episode make life better for a lot of our projects! There’s an amazing project going on right now at @criticalroletranscriptions that is setting out to do just that. By their estimation, with no outside help, it will take them years to get this magnitude of a project done. If any Critters are interested in helping out, send the nice folks over there a message and see what episode they’d like you to transcribe. 

Project Priorities for 2016

/

As we prepare for tonight’s kickoff of Season 2, we’re also reflecting on what projects we still have left from last year. 2015 brought us over 140 hours of Critical Role goodness, not counting con appearances, interviews, playlists, and whatever else that would make this list even longer. That is the approximate equivalent of seven seasons of a prime time television series. (And still, it’s never quite enough, is it?)

Given the nature of our projects, we at Crit Role Stats have watched many of these episodes multiple times in order to cover many of the incoming requests and running tasks. While it’s still crazy to think about even 20 episodes in, it was also still somewhat manageable, especially given the number of willing volunteers. However, even with assistance, at a certain point we do have to decide where our limit is (which has apparently been greater than seven seasons of prime time television).

While we’d love to continue covering how many times certain events happen throughout the entire series, all requests that require a complete rewatch of Season 1 will be postponed indefinitely in favor of requests limited to Season 2, individual episodes, and other projects. Thanks for understanding, and don’t let that discourage you from making requests. After all, as Matt says: “You can certainly try!”

Seemingly

/

anonymous asks: How many times has Matt said "Seemingly" .... this will be a daunting task.

It was, indeed. Times Matt used “Seemingly” in a sentence: 20

Updated through episode 36.

03 Strange Bedfellows

  • (0:37:14) “…meaning things were seemingly either fleeing…”

05 The Trick About Falling (rusty-diamond)

  • (2:07:22) “… seemingly unaffected by the damage…”
  • (2:10:50) “… seemingly unaffected by the additional damage.”

08 Glass and Bone

  • (0:24:08) “You seemingly do so…”
  • (0:27:09) “…the mountain, seemingly out of nowhere, extends…”

10 K’varn Revealed

  • (1:05:28) “…seemingly unaffected by the bolt”
  • (2:26:36) “This also serves as, seemingly, a laboratory for K’varn.”

14 Shopping and Shipping (rusty-diamond)

  • (0:44:30) “… you’re all seemingly healthy and still here…”

15 Skyward (rusty-diamond)

  • (1:21:52) “They are seemingly employees.”

19 Trial of the Take Part 2

  • (1:08:34) “…this long, seemingly…”

20 Trial of the Take Part 3

  • (1:10:41) “You pull it off, seemingly without him noticing.”

21 Trial of the Take Part 4

  • (3:50:55) “Seeing this little druid girl, seemingly unphased…”

25 Crimson Diplomacy

  • (1:54:50) “…standing there, seemingly unscathed by the event.”

29 Whispers

  • (0:21:52) “…Seemingly uneventful…”
  • (1:13:30) “…Seemingly without recurring incident.”

30 Stoke the Flames

  • (2:02:01) “Largely empty, and seemingly unkempt”
  • (2:04:02) “She’s gathered as much and is seemingly off-put by the whole presentation.”

31 Gunpowder Plot

  • (p1. 0:15:24) “…with guards, all seemingly prepared.”

32 Against the Tide of Bone

  • (2:56:00) “…as it seemingly, out of nowhere, this giant feast…”

35 Denouement

  • (p1. 1:39:20) “Seemingly featureless across its body…”

Princess Keyleth

/

anonymous asks: Hello! I have a request. I'd like to know how many times Tiberius addressed Keyleth with her title, "Princess".

Her Grand Vinespeakerness of the Air Ashari: Keyleth!
Times Tiberius addressed Keyleth by a royal title: 11
Times Keyleth was addressed by the party with a royal title: 14
Updated through episode 36.

04 Attack on the Duergar Warcamp (thesingingbadger)

  • Tiberius (0:47:49) “Her majesty, Keyleth!”

07 The Throne Room

  • Tiberius (2:15:45) “No, no, you’re brilliant, your highness!”

08 Glass and Bone (thesingingbadger)

  • Tiberius (1:23:16) “Lady Keyleth, if you will…”

09 Yug’voril Uncovered (dragonmustang01)

  • Tiberius (1:27:43) “Your Highness…”

10 K’varn Revealed

  • Tiberius (1:36:35) “As soon as I see Her Royalty go in…”

14 Shopping and Shipping (rusty-diamond)

  • Tiberius (1:20:41) “That’s fourteen days, your highness.”
  • Tiberius (2:42:22) Keyleth: That line [of credit] we’re talking about right now. Tiberius: Well said, your majesty.

17 Hubris

  • Tiberius (2:45:12) “We tagged him first. Warcraft rules!” “I don’t know what that means, your Highness!”

22 AraMente to Pyrah

  • Vex’ahlia (0:39:22) “Keyleth!  Lady Keyleth!”
  • Vax’ildan (1:22:38) “Here’s what I think: Lady Keyleth has been talking about this for a long time…”
  • Tiberius (2:39:54) “Lady Keyleth, is that you?”
  • Vex’ahlia (2:48:03) “Would you like us to follow you, Your Majesty?”

26 Consequences and Cows

  • Tiberius (2:17:10) “You’re Princess Pretty-face.”

27 The Path to Whitestone

  • Tiberius (3:16:35) “Eloquent, my lady.”

Laura Discards Dice

/

anonymous asks: How many times has Laura discarded a d20 in anger at bad roles ?

As everyone (i.e., Laura) knows, which dice you choose to roll is what determines how well you roll.

Times Laura has openly discarded dice: 15
Total times dice have been discarded: 20
Updated through episode 36.

02 Into the Greyspine Mines

  • Laura (1:16:02) “This one is NO LONGER in service!”

05 The Trick About Falling

  • Laura (1:20:08) After a Natural 1 for stealth.  “This, by the way, was given to me by Wil Wheaton.  Thank you, Wil.”

06 Breaching the Emberhold

  • Taliesin (1:01:45) After a failed stealth check

11 The Temple Showdown

  • Laura (0:15:09) After a terrible roll, “I’m switching dice!”

13 Escape from the Underdark

  • Ashley (1:42:55) Marisha gives Ashley new dice

15 Skyward

  • Travis (0:55:46) Set aside after rolling a 4 for persuasion in the tavern

16 Enter Vasselheim

  • Laura (0:43:42) Set aside after a Natural 1 for stealth

23 The Rematch

  • Travis (1:11:07) In favor of Taliesin’s golden snitch die

25 Crimson Diplomacy

  • Laura (0:39:07) Following a discussion with Liam about how he needs to switch dice

28 The Sun Tree

  • Laura (0:55:58) “This dice is OUT for the rest of the game!”

30 Stoke the Flames

  • Laura (0:56:55) Thrown on the floor after failing to assist Percy’s attempt to break grapple
  • Laura (2:12:15) With an assist from Liam after a poor insight check

31 Gunpowder Plot

  • Laura (p2. 0:01:01) “I gotta put this one away for a while.”

32 Against the Tide of Bone

  • Laura (3:05:40) After a Natural 1 to move the statue

33 Reunions

  • Laura (p1. 2:12:20) “You’re OUT.”
  • Percy (p2. 1:09:43)  Because he rolled too many Nat20s

34 Race to the Ziggurat

  • Laura (2:48:43) After a Natural 1 attack roll

35 Denouement

  • Laura (p1. 1:24:20) Thrown after a poor stealth check
  • Laura (p1. 1:33:00) Set Aside after poor attack rolls
  • Laura (p1. 1:49:18) Accidental Roll off the table and abandoned

Stealth Twin Sit-Ups!

/

Stealth Twins use Sit-Up! It’s… Well, effective for what they use it for! (Mostly laughing and disappearing.)

  • Liam: 28
  • Laura: 4
  • Total: 32

Updated through episode 36. Thanks to TheSingingBadger, DragonMustang01, Rusty-Diamond, and all our volunteers for their contributions to this list!

01 Arrival at Kraghammer

  • Liam (1:20:10) To dodge Balgus

03 Strange Bedfellows

  • Liam (0:53:12) After his 30 roll for stealth
  • Liam (1:54:24) After a successful dexterity check with advantage (that negated a Natural 1)

05 The Trick About Falling

  • Liam (1:59:24) To hide after killing an ogre

09 Yug’voril Uncovered

  • Liam (1:56:03) At Grog furiously drawing a naked Kima.
  • Liam (2:16:41) Cursed by armor.
  • Liam (2:26:03) Natural 1 for perception to see the sunken ship.

12 Dungeons & Dragons Campaign Tips

  • Liam (2:10:45) Partial at Vox Moronica’s conversation
  • Liam (2:22:17) Partial at Salty Pete’s Natural 1 to pick the door lock

17 Hubris

  • Liam (1:24:10) Half sit-up to “That’s not chicken, that’s just a piece of wood.”
  • Liam (2:13:10) At Scanlan’s “Seeeeem-ING.”
  • Liam (2:40:05) Vex’s Nat20 to save against her Nat1 exploding arrow.
  • Liam (3:26:05) Scanlan: “My body’s a temple!”

19 Trial of the Take Part 2

  • Laura (0:18:41) After a series of really bad rolls.

22 AraMente to Pyrah

  • Laura (1:09:49) Grog’s haggling.

23 The Rematch

  • Laura (1:41:25) In response to Matt’s “What is wrong with me? Run!”
  • Liam (2:12:17) In response to the Black Powder Merchant.
  • Liam (2:59:24) As Matt describes how Scanlan’s scrying potion affects the gnome.

24 The Feast

  • Liam (3:15:17) Removing himself from Uriel’s party introductions.

25 Crimson Diplomacy

  • Liam (3:12:08) At Matt’s running Old Lady.

27 The Path to Whitestone

  • Liam (0:47:44) To dodge Tiberius’ Glacial Blast.
  • Liam (2:23:00) At the 60,000 gp it would cost for Tiberius to enchant a ring himself.

30 Stoke the Flames

  • Liam (1:04:56) At Sam (dressed as Burt Reynolds) inspiring Grog.

31 Gunpowder Plot

  • Liam (p1. 0:42:51) Partial at the Duke’s Nat1 against Bigby’s Hand
  • Liam (p2. 0:58:06) “Sister Vex? Do you mind giving me that gun again?”

34 Race to the Ziggurat

  • Liam (0:17:02) After Grog flicks him.
  • Liam (3:03:58) At Scanlan’s ‘Percy’s got a gun’ inspiration.

35 Denouement

  • Liam (p1. 1:30:02) At Sam’s assertion that Scanlan speaks, “Gnome, Common…that’s it!”
  • Liam (p1. 2:01:31) At Grog’s Nat20 Attack of Opportunity against Orthax
  • Liam (p2. 0:29:06) At Scanlan’s attempted flirtation with a Whitestone citizen

36 Winter’s Crest at Whitestone

  • Laura (0:28:12) At Scanlan’s mention of Fabio.
  • Liam (1:13:33) Laughing at Scanlan’s Natural 1 in the arm-wrestling tournament.