Media References and Puns of 2-72 Clay and Dust
/Uk’otoa may have needed Fjord more than he needed Uk’otoa, but we feel like it wouldn’t have been a lie if he had said, “This hurts me more than it hurts you.”
Media References
(0:04:10) Liam: Listen, folks. I don’t have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad under Riegel’s stewardship of D&D Beyond. The bits are getting longer, and the prep time is getting shorter. Misinformed players are getting TPKed across the globe. Matthew Mercer is hiding from Silly String under the table. His wife is punching players left and right and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it. We know the spots are unfit for broadcast and the details are factually incoherent, and we sit here watching our Twitch accounts while this organ grinder monkey would have us believe that D&D Beyond is about the yuks, and how many dicks we can slide into the conversation, as if that's the way it's supposed to be. We know things are bad — worse than bad. They're crazy. It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, and nobody questions it anymore. We sit at our tables, and slowly the game we enjoy is turning into Romper Room, and all we can do is say, 'Please, I love this game so much. Just give me my half-orc and hit dice. I promise I’ll listen to this madman’s wine preferences and awful accent work week after week. Critical Role, give me ten minutes of actual gameplay this week. I guess that’s enough.” But I say that’s not enough. I want you to get MAD! I don't want you to riot. I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to write to Chris Perkins, because I don't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about this man’s ignorance of rogue mechanics or the flagrant firbolg shooting or the collusion with England and the constant ego fluffing. All I know is that first you've got to get mad. You've got to stand up, and say, “I'm a D&D Beyond user, god-dammit! These stats have value!” So, I want you all to get up. I want you to get up, out of you chairs. All of you, right now. I want you to go and spam the Twitch chat. Get up, and hammer that election box with your Johnson. I want you to create disgruntled fanart. I want you to get up and grab your computer, enable voice-to-text, and I want you to yell. I want you to yell, “I’m mad. MAD.” I want you to yell, “I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE SAM ANYMORE!” MORDENKAINEN IS ROLLING IN HIS GRAVE! (Network)
Beyond the Decision: The Presidential Race for D&D Beyond
/As voters take to the polls for the presidency of D&D Beyond, we at CritRoleStats feel it important to review the intense political climate that has accompanied the 2019 race. While many constituents have already cast their vote, some may still find themselves on the fence. To that extent, we have not only compiled important moments from the respective campaign trails, but have taken statements from the candidates themselves. We’d like to thank all of the candidates for their valuable time and insights into this election.
This article is not sponsored by D&D Beyond nor any of the candidates. CritRoleStats does not endorse any of the candidates, and publishes this piece via the core principles of independence, transparency, accuracy, thorough reporting, and fairness to the parties and voting citizens alike. Candidates are presented in ascending alphabetical order only; no other significance should be interpreted.
Read MoreLivetweets of 2-72 Clay and Dust
/“If you make a comment about my strength, I might throw you in the lava.” “You couldn’t, but…”
Read MoreWhat We Know About Kravaraad and Star Razor
/Thanks to @hierothraxs for this art piece!
The events of the King’s Cage rattled The Mighty Nein like few things have since half of the party was captured by smugglers on the road to Shadycreek Run. Grasping at straws for how to handle their situation and process their complicated emotions about Yasha, the Laughing Hand, Obann, and the Dwendalian Empire-Kryn Dynasty war, the Nein have settled on something tangible: going to Kravaraad, the volcano in the Flotket Alps that Caduceus envisioned in his connection to the Wildmother. The Nein are hoping to get answers to a variety of questions, and maybe even forge a sword while they’re there. We’ve seen some questions about this whole situation, so let’s dive into this volcano.
Read MoreMedia References and Puns of 2-71 Family Gatherings
/But I would walk five hundred miles
And I'd teleport five hundred more
Just to be the mom who reunited her fam
In midst of a war
Media References
(0:05:15) Sam: I’ll give my employees cool nicknames, like Slick Rick in accounting and H.R. Pufnstuf in H.R.
(0:05:43) Liam: The tenets of Gygax will be hoisted to dizzying new heights.
(0:06:00) ...you Elon Musk clone!
(0:06:26) Sam: *does Bill Clinton look and hand motion*
(0:43:36) Sam: LeBron Scry Guy.
(0:44:15) Sam: His last name is Fryguy. (Mario)
(1:07:36) Sam, Marisha, and Taliesin: *singing* Orlando! (Book of Mormon)
(1:07:44) Matt: Dalen’s Closet is the Boca Raton.
(1:18:44) Taliesin: Neiman Marcus chalk.
Livetweets of 2-71 Family Gathering
/“Why is there a tree on the roof?”
”Yeah, no, you’re right, it’s super weird when you lay it all out like that.”
”I’m just beginning, but we’ll start with that.”
Media References and Puns of 2-70 Causatum
/Dairon's back and you're gonna be in trouble
(Hey-la-day-la Dairon's back)
You've been with the Dynasty, running through demonic tunnels
(Hey-la-day-la Dairon's back)
The Kryn’ve been bustin' spies thanks to your scrying clue
(Hey-la-day-la Dairon's back)
Now you're back in Xhorhaus, she's comin' after you
HEY-LA-DAY-LA, DAIRON'S BACK
Media References
(0:05:23) Travis: It’s fine, Chief, I’ll just moonwalk over here. Sam: *makes shoe noises and moonwalks*
(0:36:12) Travis: You remember Terminator 2? From the payphone?
(0:38:36) Travis: *singing* Gonna take some patience and time. (“Got My Mind Set on You” by George Harrison)
(0:40:10) Sam: *whistles the Theme from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly*
(0:46:05) Sam: Yeah! Fire it up! (by Rick James)
(0:48:15) Sam: The roc’s going to get it for us. Matt: Not the bird, the actual performer. Sam: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, yes. Travis: DJ’s coming.
(0:49:11) Sam: Heard some crazy monsters be coming. Better hide your kids. Travis: Yep, hide your wives. (Antoine Dodson)
(1:09:55) Laura: They’re going to come out of the doorway. We’re going to kick their ask.
Livetweets of 2-70 Causatum
/“Some of us get tired of macabre fairy tails. Enjoy your mouthful of lies, when they choke it out of you.”
Read MoreQuick Answers 74
/How many hours of content has been announcements?
As of episode 2-69, according to our Running Times tables across both campaigns and all one-shots, there has been a total of 36:19:58 between the beginning of each episode and the start of the games themselves. This time includes the opening greetings, announcements, and opening credits.
Has there been any indication that Essek Thelyss levitates everywhere because he is missing a leg?
There has not yet been any indication or explanation.
How many days has Yasha spent with the Nein?
As of episode 2-69, Yasha has been with the Nein for 114 of 176 days.
How many times has Matt said he is sorry after one of Sam's sponsor intros?
In campaign 2, Matt has explicitly apologized seven times. Each instance listed after the break!
Monster Analysis: Obann, The Laughing Hand, and Shadowhounds
/Thanks to @violaswimmer for this art piece!
After several episodes of travel and dungeon delving, the Mighty Nein reach their goal: the deepest room of the temple and a confrontation with the potential source of the abyssal anchors, Yasha's lost history... and another forgotten relic of the Calamity.
“Welcome to the heart of the King’s Cage.”
Read MoreCRStats Favorite Moments Episodes 2-57 - 2-69
/Thank to @iDrawBagman for this art piece!
Another story arc, another set! As always, here’s our previous favorite moments from earlier in the campaign:
And now, the list.
Read More







